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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Just wondering what most people think of bisexual men who believe it's perfectly okay to hide their past, or present, homosexual activities from the women they want to get intimate with. Personally, I think it's wrong not to inform a woman of bisexual tendencies and it isn't at all cool to deceive women in such a way. Apart from common STD concerns, the emotional ramifications of such a deceit can very likely be traumatizing for a woman. If she becomes emotionally attached to such a guy, then finds out the truth somewhere along the line, the results can probably be quite devastating to the woman. She would no longer be able to trust the guy and also might find it far more difficult to trust any man, afterward. I welcome any rational observations on this subject.

Posts: 72

Posted 3 years ago
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Iceumup1

Joined: 11/30/2008

If we knew everything about everyone we would never date anyone. He is who he is, rite this moment, as u are rite this moment. how would you like to always be known for your worst day? I think when you meet the "one" you both become someone different, the same just person but with some of the other person's good points. We are who we are, when we are.. < I know sounds like retorical nonsince, but think about it. We all grow as a person everyday and change with experiance.
*** Disclamer***** I am NOT in any way gay, bi, bi courious, or even close. just think this post applies to a lot of people in alot of situations, not just this one.... I'm a "ho" but maby when the right woman comes a long I will be a husband , again.. Ya know.

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Posted 3 years ago
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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: If we knew everything about everyone we would never date anyone. He is who he i...
Are you responding to the right posting? Your answer has no relevance to what I said and makes no sense, whatsoever, to me...

Posts: 72

Posted 3 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

It's wrong for someone to cheat on their partner, no matter what their sexuality is.

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awesomemikey

Joined: 10/18/2004

Just wondering what most people think of bisexual men who believe it's perfectly okay to hide their past, or present, homosexual activities from the women they want to get intimate with.

Would you be comfortable telling your boyfriend/husband that you slept with 20+ men and did a few lesbians parties in college? It really depends on the strength of the relationship, right?

If you are in a committed relationship, then having a sexual relationship with another person (regardless of sexual orientation) is culturally considered unacceptable.

You said it would be traumatizing to a woman if a man told her that he had bisexual tendencies. Ummm, that's why they don't tell you. They don't want to deal with a traumatized woman. Tell you now or telling you 10 years later makes no difference. It is traumatizing to the woman no matter what.

I had a girlfriend who wanted to have a lesbian party. I told her she can lick her as long as I can bang her, too. My perspective? Not fair for her to have only two partners while I only have one partner that I'm supposed to be committed with.

Posts: 73

Posted 3 years ago
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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: Would you be comfortable telling your boyfriend/husband that you slept with 20+...
I guess what I'm trying to find out is whether or not women and/or men think deceiving a woman about having had a homosexual past is wrong. Personally, I feel that every woman deserves the right to be told by any bisexual man who wants to get intimate with her BEFORE the intimacy occurs, so as to give the woman a choice. I've had an experience where I asked a guy and he outright lied about the extent of his involvements with other men, saying they were innocent and not prevalent, Then later it came out that he, as a Caucasian slept with black men and had a black lover, for a year, with whom he served as the submissive partner. To me his former lies were despicable and it caused me a great deal of grief. The images of what he engaged in with the men he had sex with was enough to make me want to step in front of a bus, because I had loved him so much, just to discover that he wasn't who I believed him to be...

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Posted 3 years ago
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EzGoing2691

Joined: 9/6/2011

Yes, IMHO it is totally wrong not to divulge that information.

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Posted 3 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

It sounds like you have problems with homosexuality more than anything else. If he said that his encounters were innocent and not prevalent, then that's not lying, that just means he is comfortable with himself and what he did. I can understand if you are not into the homosexuality thing, but that doesn't make him a liar just because he thinks it's no big deal.

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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: It sounds like you have problems with homosexuality more than anything else. I...
I do indeed have issues, but not "problems" with homosexuality. As a straight woman I have gay friends and enjoy their company immensely. However, I think when guys do what they do with each other they should stay with each other and not veer off to women, just because we start to look better to them. This is what the guy I dealt with finally confessed. He doesn't regret his 3 - 4 year homosexual period and as I think that sex is universally considered to be the 'Loss of Innocence' his comment was a big fat lie designed to get me into bed, since he knew I wouldn't have wanted him had I known the truth. I was duped into believing that he had little oral and no anal experience, by that statement and when the truth finally came out it was very shocking. I really don't want a guy whose been another guy's lover and girlfriend, if you know what I mean........ Do many or most people Not care about such things, really, Jem?

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Posted 3 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Well, to me, it doesn't make a difference whether the guy I'm with has been with another woman or another man. Either way, he's been with someone else, right? I guess if you are bothered by someone having too much experience, you should be conscious of the experience you have to offer in return. It sucks that he duped you. No matter the subject matter, it is always wrong to lie in order to get into someone's pants.

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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: Well, to me, it doesn't make a difference whether the guy I'm with has been wit...
I'm not bothered by too much experience, per se, if it is only with women, but I guess it's objectionable to me when a guy is what I consider fundamentally homosexual and dishonest about it with women he plans to bed. That -kind- of experience is Not something I'm okay with. I mean it's my opinion that when a guy chooses to be with other guys, it's wrong to deceive women into thinking he's 100% heterosexual, which the guy in question is in the habit of claiming. This makes me wonder how many other bisexual men purposely deceive women without any conscience concerning the matter. This seems to me to be very irresponsible. I'm just sayin' (smile) A potential boyfriend having been with many women would be okay, but being with even one man is a very different kettle of fish, to me, when making a decision as to whether I wish to surrender the pink and eventually become emotionally involved and attached to a guy...

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Posted 3 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

So many men and so many women lie to their partners and potential partners. No matter the lie, it's wrong to do.

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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: So many men and so many women lie to their partners and potential partners. No ...
I suppose it's too much to expect, then, that guys fully disclose the extent of what I consider rather unacceptable aspects of their pasts and/or their present proclivities. For myself it's important, for trust and true intimacy, that both parties be honest especially about such sexual matters, otherwise, how can each really be "in love" with one another? Without knowing who a person truly is how can one really love them for who they are? And why would someone Not want his partner to love him for what and who he really is? Anyway, it gripes me that it's getting increasingly more difficult to trust men, as a result of what I experienced and that makes me feel jaded, now... Ugh! (weak smile)

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awesomemikey

Joined: 10/18/2004

Reply to: I'm not bothered by too much experience, per se, if it is only with women, but ...
I know what you mean. I used to have an aversion to white women who had sex with a black man. Now, I'm over it. Sex is sex regardless of the color.

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awesomemikey

Joined: 10/18/2004

Reply to: I suppose it's too much to expect, then, that guys fully disclose the extent of...
Now you know his past, is he worth keeping?

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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: Now you know his past, is he worth keeping?
No, because I can't trust anything he says now, or that he can even really LOVE a woman, since he can't be completely honest about his past. Also, I don't -at all- like the idea of his having served as another guy's "girlfriend" so to speak. The idea is, for lack of a better word, ICKY. The thought of what he did with other males actually turns my stomach. Maybe sex is more important to me than it is to the majority of folks and that's probably what I'm trying to figure out, too, by this posting. I feel that if two people engage in that very intimate act together they should actually care about one another to some extent and it seems like many people don't feel the same way I do...

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you_and_me_1

Joined: 11/29/2010

not going to sugar coat or front this what about real woman who want to see to men have sex i know woman that do and seem to shut up listen and learn while they are there and in joy them self and have fun just a ? is all dont get all tata here

Posts: 171

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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: not going to sugar coat or front this what about real woman who want to see to ...
I have No idea what your comments have to do with me and the info I'm seeking. I don't think anything that other consenting adults like to do together is objectionable, as long as they don't try and involve me in something I don't want to do. If there are women who like to watch gay porn, or man-on-man sex, then bully for them, as everyone has their own little fetish. (smile) I just happen to think that when two people embark on a Romantic relationship, with one another, that they should each care about each other enough to be honest about their sexual proclivities and past, especially if the past or present predilections are less conventional than regular vanilla type one-on-one opposite gender activity......

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Iceumup1

Joined: 11/30/2008

Reply to: I have No idea what your comments have to do with me and the info I'm seeking. ...
So, you dont care if he lies about everything else as long as he tells you if he's "rubbed up on" another man? I dont thinl "honesty' is what you have a problem with. You do not see the relevance in what people comment to your post's because you don't want to, not because you do not understand.

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Garance

Joined: 7/14/2011

Reply to: So, you dont care if he lies about everything else as long as he tells you if h...
You really shouldn't venture an opinion about anything on this topic. You obviously don't even know what homosexual men do with one another. Lies of any kind are bad but this particular subject was what I was being specific about.

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Iceumup1

Joined: 11/30/2008

Reply to: You really shouldn't venture an opinion about anything on this topic. You obvi...
lol

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kleahcim

Joined: 7/5/2011

what about it

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kleahcim

Joined: 7/5/2011

why is it men with micro penises are committing suiside and hung men are having all the fun WHY

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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Because men with micro penises have complexes and hung men have confidence.

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Iceumup1

Joined: 11/30/2008

Reply to: Because men with micro penises have complexes and hung men have confidence.
lol. I thought I was just being social. Thanks for explaining it to me, jem. LOL.

Posts: 784

Posted 3 years ago
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