My husband and I have been married for going on two years, been together almost four. We have had a very up and down relationship. He cheated on me... ALOT and so on, other things I won't get in to. Now that my husband and I have tried to continue our relationship I can't be sexually attracted to him. Hell, I can't even tolerate being around him. He is no longer doing the things that he had done but I'm worried the changed may have come too late. Can how I feel change you think? If so, how?

The best advice I can possibly give you is to TRY to open up to the possibility of repairing whatever damage had been done and see if the marriage can be worked out. There are some, like moi, who still believe that marriage is a sacred thing to behold. However, if you still feel strongly about whatever he does from this point forward and that doesn't make a dent as to your feelings towards him, then seek a divorce lawyer and cite irreconcilable differences in your marriage.

I want the marraige to work... I mean marriage should NOT be as disposible as it has become. I have tried talking to him but he does this kicked puppy look and sulks and all I want to do is punch him in the face. Either that or he says hes tired of me not getting over it. He even told me yesterday if his hygenie is that big an issue I need to just leave. I might add the boy doesnt bathe but maybe once every two weeks and doesnt brush his teeth ever.

Sorry to say Betty but you're married to a dirty pig.

This is really not an issue up for debate on his part. If he wants to keep you as his wife, he needs to make some personal changes in his life. Primarily his hygienic and bathing habits. What, he can't be bothered to take a shower once a day?? C'mon now, tell him to be a man for once in his miserable existence and take account for his actions.

I cant help but feel the same way. And some of the things he did... like cheat on me with minors and hide beastality porn andd go out to see his ex on our wedding day when she wants to sleep with him... thats not even the worst.... its a hard thing to forgive ya know

The thing is, while you may one day forgive (Which you shouldn't have to btw) you'll never forget. He'll never be the same guy to you again.


You just have to decide if the marriage really is worth it. You shouldn't be the only one trying to make it work.

If thats the case I better get the papers now! lol

I'm hoping that I can, in a sense, fall back in love with him. Not working thus far. Im only getting more angry and more interested in other men.

And if THAT's the case, you should get the papers now.


Although I do understand that money is probably an issue.

As of right now yes. Im biding my time, waiting till I can drive have some money saved back then see what I REALLY want.

Plus having a baby in the middle of it makes it alot more complicated.

The best advice I can possibly give you is to TRY to open up to the possibility of repairing whatever damage had been done and see if the marriage can be worked out.  There are some, like moi, who still believe that marriage is a sacred thing to behold.  However, if you still feel strongly about whatever he does from this point forward and that doesn't make a dent as to your feelings towards him, then seek a divorce lawyer and cite irreconcilable differences in your marriage.

I concur and cosign.

I completely understand.



I just hate the idea of you or anyone really feeling trapped.

Yes, and I cant help but feel like I am. Right now though I dont have much of a choice.


Atleast I still have my chocolate cake.

you are having a baby or you had a baby in the middle of this?

*runs over to betty's house, beats her man down, and steals all of her chocolate desserts all in one fell swoop*

Hahaha, catch me if you can. LOL. =)

hehehehe... sorry your suffering so much. I think when you are so hurt it's impossible to regain trust. So much anger remains.

Thebetty...From what I read so far,your husband doesn't love you. You can't MAKE someone love you!
It sounds like you are the only one who is really "trying" in the relationship,and he seems like he doesn't think he has done anything wrong at all. I think you should move on as soon as you can. You are WAY to pretty,sweet,smart and funny to waste time on someone who doesn't care to even keep himself clean for you! Now that is NOT too much to ask!!! If there is a child involved,there is help out there for single mothers.
I know how it feels to be living with someone that you don't even want to look at or be around. After alot of bad things that happen,or even bad words,you get to a point where there is no return...no way to get the love back. I hate divorce,but in this case,I would say it would make you a much happier person if you ditched this guy. I don't know the WHOLE STORY,but don't feel trapped! If you have to,maybe you can move in with a relative or friend for a while? If anything,hang in there until you can make a move. I wish you the best of luck...

It's hard not to feel trapped when a lack of money keeps you in a situation you don't want to be in.

We have a year and a half old little boy

No, marriage should not be as disposable as it has become. But some marriages are just not worth it.

I know..exactly...
My daughter would have dumped the guy she is with if she had the money. She has 2 kids by him and all he really is to her is a babysitter. She cares about him,but there is really no 'love' feelings. The thing with her also is: She doesn't want to "take" his kids from him. Just a guilt trip he puts on her,because he has it made with her working and supporting HIM! (and the kids)!

My older sister is married to the biggest asshole on the planet. He's a good bit older than her, and they've been married for 15 years now. He's abusive in many ways but he's wealthy so that's her excuse. She doesn't want the kids to do without if she was forced to be a single mom, they'd have to live in something that's not up to her standards, yada yada yada. She really can't stand him and they haven't had sex in like forever. She used to come running to me everytime he did something vile and I would take them in for a few days, blowing my budget and buying extra groceries, etc. But, I stopped feeling sorry for her a long time ago. I mean, she has a family that would take her in and a freakin' college degree that she doesn't even use. She could do it.

She's just waiting for him to die. Whatever, I'm not wasting my life on someone who doesn't love me, hits me, or makes me miserable. He'd die, alright...but not of natural causes!

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

I'm guilty of that very same saying and has taken me a hard breakup to figure it out. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting either. I hope the best of you Betty; I won't say to get divorced or not as that is your conclusion either way, but try to do it with a clear mind :-) (Meaning frag some mother fu**ing lvl 20 Alliance!)

OFR THE HORDE! Time to move up! Time to leave that pansy Draniea and get me a Blood Elf! Level 85 even!!!!


Wow nerdism to the power of ten there. lol

You have a Dranei? I thought you were horde -_- Blood Elfs are pretty pansy too :-P I mean, all the males look like a guy from a boy band and the women are...hot? Pansy either way: space cows vs. boy bands