WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish................. .............49
Adventurer................ ..........Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................. ..........No breasts
Average looking.....................Ha s a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................. ..........Pathological liar
Educated.................. ..........Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure..................Medica ted
Feminist.................. ..........Fat ballbuster
Free spirited...................... .Junkie
Friendship first....................Tryin g to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... ..........Annoying
Gentle.................... ..........Comatose
Good Listener...................... .Borderline Autistic
New-Age................... ..........All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............. ..........Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............... ..........Desperate
Outgoing.................. ..........Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................ ..........Sloppy drunk
Poet...................... ..........Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.............. ..........Certified Bitch
Redhead................... ..........Bad dye-job
Reubenesque............... ..........Grossly Fat
Romantic.................. ..........Looks better by candle light
Social.................... ..........Has been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray
Voluptuous................ ..........Very Fat
Weight proportionate w/height.......Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................... Stalker
Widow..................... ..........Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart .....................Old bat