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nanagibs

Joined: 11/20/2010

I'm 27 years old and I can honestly say I think I'm a pretty nice guy. I always try to think of others before myself, and I'm just an all around good guy. Yet every single relationship I've been in turned to shit...... And I have the hardest time meeting new women cuz I'm not an asshole I have friends who are the asshole and get all the girls. Yet nice guys who woman say they all want a nice guy always get shit.... So I was just wondering if there are girls out there that actually do want a genuine nice guy. And also guys let me know if you've had the samething happen to you.

Posts: 13

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Ok, I'm gonna lay it all out for you;

To start, most women would rather have a balance of both. Extremes, on either end, are not usually all that appealing. Also, every woman is going to have her own version of what the "perfect balance" is. So a woman is going to go for that balance, or something close to it. You might think a guy is an asshole, but you're looking at it from a biased position. There are probably things about him that you don't see, or notice, that she likes.

Now, another thing. Most guys that claim to be the nice guys (not all of them, of course) also have a tendency to be socially awkward, or at least shy. Most women like a guy to make the first move. Or at least to be able to make moves of his own, even if she makes the first one. If a guy is too shy to even talk to her comfortably, it's just not attractive to most women. You say you have a hard time meeting women, but how hard are you trying? Confidence is one of the sexiest things in the world. Remember, you can be confident, even cocky, without being over the top, arrogant or fake.

Think about this situation; Say you are out at night with your date/girlfriend. A guy comes around and starts harassing her. And I don't mean just annoying her. I mean a drunk guy who is being aggressive. Say he gets violent at her rejections. Your average nice guy is just not going to do anything to protect her. Whether it's because he's not capable, or is too afraid. That's just how it goes. But if she was with the "asshole," it is more likely that he will be able to protect her from such situations. Granted, this is hardly a daily situation, but this is something women consider. That's why you always hear women saying they want to feel safe in their man's arms.

Thinking of others before yourself is a great quality, but some guys take it too far. I've been in this situation myself. I dated a guy who wanted to do everything I wanted. Aka, he couldn't make a decision to save his life. Sometimes we want to make you happy too. We don't want all the burden on us to pick every restaurant, every meet up time, every outing, etc. It's also ok to be selfish once in awhile. You have to be able to take care of yourself. If you were planning on going out, but you get sick; then stay home. Don't go out just because she was looking forward to it. Take care of yourself, and make it up to her later.

Hope this helps!

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Posted 7 years ago
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nanagibs

Joined: 11/20/2010

Reply to: Ok, I'm gonna lay it all out for you; To start, most women would rather have a...
hmmm it really makes sense
thanks anyway

Posts: 13

Posted 7 years ago
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shyguyvin

Joined: 12/2/2008

Reply to: Ok, I'm gonna lay it all out for you; To start, most women would rather have a...
I like the way you said that but I can honestly say to the starter that I'm in the same boat. I'm the nicest guy you will ever meet. I'm not just saying it because I mean it. I also agree with the girl who did reply. Sorry I don't remember your names at the moment. I'm a nice guy but I'm shy but I just want a girl who is ok with it and is willing to help me get out of the shyness as I hate it. I love when my woman makes all the decisions as I'm undecisive about things but if I feel strongly about something I will speak my mind about it. I hate fighting but if I need to I will always protect my woman. My longest relationship has been 3 months and it sucks that I can't find a woman to save my life.

Posts: 7

Posted 7 years ago
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Etritonakin3.0

Joined: 7/18/2010

From a guy's perspective (might be repeating some other posters' comments, but).....

The bad boys have no shyness or fear of rejection, and are usually "working on" several women at a time -so they simply get to the women and ask them out before the nice guys. Women enjoy attention and want to be with someone -they're human -and usually can't read your mind. They probably don't know a nice guy is interested because they haven't expressed interest -and while they are considering it, the bad boy swoops in.

Some women don't like the bad boys, fall for their lies -and keep getting hurt. Some are out for fun, and only complain because they don't want to seem easy because they are with a different bad boy every time you see them. Some are having fun with the bad boys before settling with a nice guy for marriage, etc...

Anyway -when you are interested, suck it up and ask her out. Go out dancing and practice asking girls to dance if you have to. Be a gentleman, but don't let her walk all over you -be you, and don't change anything for her that shouldn't be changed -definitely change the things that should change -and if she doesn't like you -she doesn't like you. Don't get too involved before you find out whether or not she actually likes you -and wants the same things you do!

Posts: 1882

Posted 7 years ago
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gamaforce

Joined: 10/10/2009

Reply to: Ok, I'm gonna lay it all out for you; To start, most women would rather have a...
Balance these fuckin balls! LOL

Posts: 6659

Posted 7 years ago
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shyguyvin

Joined: 12/2/2008

Reply to: From a guy's perspective (might be repeating some other posters' comments, but)...
Etrit I like the way you said that I definitely agree with you.

Posts: 7

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Reply to: From a guy's perspective (might be repeating some other posters' comments, but)...
No no dear, we like the bad boys. How many times do we have to say it? Haha.

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ultimate dust

Joined: 1/7/2010

This is for the original poster ...the answers are within yourself...you are not going to find the answers by asking people on here or anywhere..you will only get 2789 different opinions..lol

BE THE NICE GUY YOU ALWAYS ARE ...NEVER CHANGE CAUSE THIS WILL ONLY TAKE YOU FURTHER AWAY FROM YOURSELF...IT ONLY SEEMS HARDER CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ...TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU....SHE WILL COME ALONG BUT IT MAY TAKE ANOTHER 10 YEARS OR SO...JUST AS LONG AS YOU STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF..

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ultimate dust

Joined: 1/7/2010

Reply to: No no dear, we like the bad boys. How many times do we have to say it? Haha.
Speak for yourself jem..

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ultimate dust

Joined: 1/7/2010

Reply to: Ok, I'm gonna lay it all out for you; To start, most women would rather have a...
This works for you jem ..not all women..

Posts: 4690

Posted 7 years ago
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shyguyvin

Joined: 12/2/2008

Jem, I don't see how a woman would rather have a guy who treats her like shit, talks down to her, cheats and abuses her emotionally or physically. Compare that to a guy like me who will treat her like a queen, do things for her, buy her flowers just because and not because it's a special day, calls her just to hear her voice and say good morning. There is no comparison but yet women think I'm too nice and they don't even look me again.

Posts: 7

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

You're completely ignoring the whole array of guys in between! We're not all either good or evil. Like I said in my first post; BALANCE.

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Posted 7 years ago
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shyguyvin

Joined: 12/2/2008

I understand what your saying Jem but if a guy treats a woman like that in the street around strangers imagine what he's like in the home.

Posts: 7

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Not that many guys are as awful as you're making them out to be. Sure, there are some horrible guys out there, but there are also some horrible women. Why are you so focused on the other guys? That won't help you find a woman!

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Posted 7 years ago
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MX___WILDCAT

Joined: 11/7/2010

ima good guy ...baby jesus loves me !

Posts: 47

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Jesus loves the little children...

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Posted 7 years ago
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tmmd

Joined: 9/22/2010

Reply to: ima good guy ...baby jesus loves me !
MX for president then when he dies MX will be the new god for all ... just no muslims allowed, they can have allah and the non pork eating ways still

Posts: 947

Posted 7 years ago
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MX___WILDCAT

Joined: 11/7/2010

little baby jesus dosnt make trash

Posts: 47

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

The thought of MX as God scares me.

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Posted 7 years ago
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Crystal!

Joined: 10/7/2009

Actually I'm quite different, I don't like assholes. I just end up with them....

Posts: 4703

Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

You need a new battery in your lie detector!

Posts: 10722

Posted 7 years ago
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ultimate dust

Joined: 1/7/2010

Reply to: Jem, I don't see how a woman would rather have a guy who treats her like shit, ...
What is this ? Jem Tv ?
Here it is ..plain and simple...if you have to try with a woman then she ain't for you...when it all flows NATURALLY and you both can be yourselves without the images then you found true love....

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Posted 7 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Exactly, you shouldn't have to change who you are to be with someone.

Posts: 10722

Posted 7 years ago
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ultimate dust

Joined: 1/7/2010

Reply to: Exactly, you shouldn't have to change who you are to be with someone.
Well thats all you had to say..instead you had to write a book ..

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