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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

This is a hard week for me. My oldest daughter is graduating from High School on Sunday. I know some of you have already been through this milestone in your lives, and it may not seem like such a big deal.
She is my baby. My first born and my princess. I have loved every minute of my 18 years with her, and it's such a bittersweet kind of feeling to have her reach this moment in her life. I know that I have raised her well and that she is fully prepared to move on to the next step of her life.
Knowing this, I should be excited and happy for her, but I'm feeling very sad instead. Is this selfish of me? Any advice on how to make letting go any less painful?

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Well I'm not a parent, but I know it's hard for any parent to let their baby go.


When I moved out at 25, both of my parents helped move me in, then cried when they left!

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Well I'm not a parent, but I know it's hard for any parent to let their baby g...
I can't stand the thought of her not living with me anymore. It's tearing me up inside and I swore that I wasn't going to behave like this.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Hugs Peggy.. Im bout ready to cry reading your post. I dont think you ever have to let go Peggy, you just have to live differently now. You might not be needed for diaper changings, or to help her with homework, but your daughter, is always going to need you, for advice, for friendship, for your love. All babies love their Mommies, especially one thats a good as are, no matter what their age. Now you get to help your daughter figure out different types of things. Like adult things (relationships, money, having her own kids someday) Moms dont ever get outgrown, we're just needed for different thing.

I know how you feel though Peggy.. Ems almost walkng. I miss her waking up every 3 hours to feed her! Every little step she makes towards independence, makes me both happy for her and also sad for me. They grow up so fast. I wont even give away any of her clothes!! Shes outgrown them but they're still somethign I cant let go of!!

It will be okay though Peggy, she will always need her mommy

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Hugs Peggy.. Im bout ready to cry reading your post. I dont think you ever have...
Leese, you helped! Thanks! She will always need me. I needed to hear that.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Is this selfish of me?
Yes, it is selfish. But every mother has and will feel like that.

Now you get to be her friend (way cooler than being a mommy) and advise her. :)

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SteveNParkville

Joined: 1/7/2009

Peggy I think its perfectly normal to feel the way you do. My son is just starting high school and I was just thinking the other day about how much less dependent he is on me than he used to be(well with the obvious exception of getting rides to and from places and money). I guess we see our kids go through a multitude of stages on their journey to adulthood. Each one of them fills us with anxiety, new challenges we know they will face, choices they will be faced with ect. At each stage we are faced with the loss of sorts, lets face it each of these progressions is moving closer to independence, its the natural order of things. I guess the one thing I hold on to though is at each stage despite my fears that he will not need me, my fear that I will be gradually shut out of his life, it turns out he really does need me. Maybe its in a different form than it was before but its still an active part of his life, and to be honest its a wonderful thing. So Peggy try to remember yea things will be different but you will ALWAYS be needed.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

"Natural" for the American culture, sure.

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Peggy I think its perfectly normal to feel the way you do. My son is just start...
Thanks! :)

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Yes, it is selfish. But every mother has and will feel like that. Now you get ...
Being her friend is going to be awesome. Thanks, Muted.

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Reply to: Being her friend is going to be awesome. Thanks, Muted.
Piss off.

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

mhmmm, thats what i thought...

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

I'm guessing muted's mommy still has to wipe his ass.

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Reply to: I'm guessing muted's mommy still has to wipe his ass.
You guessed wrong.

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

You sure about that?

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Reply to: You sure about that?
Yes, ma'am, I'm sure.

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Did she teach you to talk back to your elders?

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Reply to: Did she teach you to talk back to your elders?
The bible says to respect your elders.

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Fuck the bible. We're not discussing it.

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

In a way you are. To answer you more directly, yes.

But I respect those who deserve it.

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

No actually you don't. You've talked back to everyone who writes in these forums. Yet I've seen you in chatrooms, you're kind of a wuss!

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

The definition of "talking back," means to converse.

I'm aware you have. That's fine. I don't care if you think I'm a "wuss" or not.

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sundrop68

Joined: 7/24/2008

None whatsoever! You love them to death and want to keep hold of them forever never letting go. It sucks and i don't know what to say except that when my oldest gets there in two years can i come back and ask you how you did it?

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Posted 9 years ago
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cutiepie007

Joined: 3/25/2009

Reply to: None whatsoever! You love them to death and want to keep hold of them forever n...
I would be there to lend a shoulder and some shamwows :) It'll be okay :) They are not disappearing off the face of the earth :)If you have been awesome parents, like I am sure you guys have been - they will never be too far away :)

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Posted 9 years ago
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Kajunqueen

Joined: 11/29/2008

There is nothing that will make it any less painful! You loved and raised your baby girl and now she is "leaving the nest"...It IS a BIG DEAL,and perfectly normal to feel sad.You know in your heart that she was raised right,and knows right from wrong.There is a fear too,of not knowing all she will face without you there.Letting go is this hardest(emotional) thing I ever had to do in my life. From letting go of thier baby hands when they take thier first step,to crying when they get on the school bus for the first day of kindegarten,to thier first sleep-over(away from home)and giving them the keys to drive by themselves...All of this is letting go,but the letting go that REALLY separates is like a grand finale'.The only thing that made it easier for me was to look at it as a new beginning.They can't stay with you forever,and having confidence in how you raised them helps make it a little easier.I know deep down,my kids do what's right.Not alot of parents can say that.So,try to have confidence in her and wish her the best,let her know your there for her at any hour,how proud you are of her,and most importantly,look into her eyes and tell her you love her...it makes a diffrence when YOU know they are really listening to you.

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