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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

The last time he kicked me out, the police had to be called.. (he was taking all my and my daughters personal possessions and throwing them in the car, and woudlnt get out of my face with the name calling) so they told him not to talk to me at all. so he blew smoke in her face... (Neither of us have smoked inside since she was conceived in preperation for her health)

He would never hit her.. but I swear, I never thought he was capable of blowing smoke in her face eihter..

I am leavin this post for now, due to stress..
Thanks again though to you all..

Posts: 395

Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Welcome. That's a shame...

You should listen to that YouTube song, it's pretty funny. :)
http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = 1sWv7GEkq2U & feature = related

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Reply to: The last time he kicked me out, the police had to be called.. (he was taking al...
And this is the kind of man you want to shape up and be her daddy?



I'm not trying to be mean when I say this but WTF are you thinking? Get your daughter away from him for good.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

:(

I dont know how... Im scared and afraid.. can explain more.. but its personal..

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

but its personal..
Oh of course! Nothing else is personal either. I see. :D

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Reply to: Oh of course! Nothing else is personal either. I see. :D
Some things are too personal Muted...
some things everyones been through, can relate to, and wont be disturbed in reading. some things personal I feel comfortable talking about.. some things I dont. I have soemthign called boundaries...

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Don't let him get to you leese. He doesn't have a friggin clue about any of this.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Oh, you don't feel comfortable about it. 'Kay then.

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Posted 9 years ago
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cristyqt26

Joined: 4/23/2009

The reason why you are not getting what you want from him which is peace and compromise..is because you are making it way too easy on him. You are now playing the victim role and he knows this...you have to find that strength within you to stop playing the victim role and be assertive in what you want. Your daughter is at stake here ... its no longer about you and him its about the little girl and what is best for her. There are things legally that you can do as a mother you have many more rights...use those to your advantage now that its early in the game. Get a legal advocate. I was in the same boat you are in now.. 10yr marriage went down the hill. Issues with trust, affairs, physical and emotional abuse. To top it things got ugly when it came down to our kids and at first I was like you making things easy on him compromising trying to find a way to make things peaceful but he kept wanting to fight so i said ok being nice isnt working time to do things differently. He now has to pay child support, legal fees, I got him to pay health and child care cost...Its all in the way you handle the situations. Good luck and if you need help with legal stuff email me.

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

There are things legally that you can do as a mother you have many more rights
If that's even remotely true. That's complete and total fucking bullshit.

Either way, she's already stated she legally owns the child as is.

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Posted 9 years ago
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cristyqt26

Joined: 4/23/2009

Reply to: If that's even remotely true. That's complete and total fucking bullshit. Eith...
Its useless to argue with someone who knows nothing about law. have a great day!

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Sucks that I know stuff huh?

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

What do you know about custody issues and how to deal with them?

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

More than you'd think.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

christyqt,
thanks.. you make total sense. And you are right about it all. I am gonna head to your page to ask for some legal advice.. thanks!

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Posted 9 years ago
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SteveNParkville

Joined: 1/7/2009

Having a child used in as a pawn by another party in a relationship is without a doubt the most gut wrenching and painful thing that can happen to anyone. I know I have been through it and it is to this day the single most painful thing that I have ever experienced in my life. The fact that you still want this man to be a loving and caring father despite what may have transpired, tells me your wonderful person and that you have your childs best interests at heart.

I wish I could sit here and tell you that he will come to his senses and be the dad that your child deserves, maybe it will happen you never know. That being said the actions that he is taking show a disregard for your childs welfare and well being, they are symptomatic of a deeper character issue. Christy is right about needing to talk to a lawyer, she also makes a good point that his legal and moral obligations are two different things, deal with the legal stuff that is one thing that you can deal with and in time the moral obligation he has will either be met or it wont, either way I can tell you manage to raise your daughter to be a great person.

Unfortunatley when it comes to healing there are no short cuts, nothing but the natural process out there. So I guess the best advice I can give is to let time do what it does best and allow it to help heal your wounds. Also focus in on the thngs in your life that you know to positive, focus on your daughter, your family, your friends. Last but not least invest some time finding or doing hobbies or activities that you enjoy, its a great way help find some joy in your life and wonderful way to socialize and ease back into life again.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Im sorry you've gone through the gut wrenching pain. I have done so much not to cause my X to feel any pain.. and I give him wayy too much leway.. because, well I know how much I love our daughter and I know he has to be in pain from her not living with him anymore. There are so many times though, that hes gotten mad and brought her home mid visit and said "I'll see you in court, dont contact me ever again." I feel so confused.. I want him to see her more, scared to death of him trying to keep her from me and getting custody. My new plan is this: get some balls. If he cant live with allowing me my rights as a parent, and my requests are few and soemthing that I have to do as a parent: (tell me who are you living with, so I can meet this person and know who is going to be in my daughters life, do not leave Em alone with my X's son who has been way too rough with em out of anger and keep in contact with me when shes at his place)

Next time he tells me see you in court for no real reason, Im going to make him stick to it...

And before i ever date again, Im goin to do what you suggested, focus on me and my daughter, adn try to find some hobbies etc..

thansk for writing ..

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

I feel so confused
Somebody as young as me jerked you around, and I don't even know you...

Nothing to be confused about. He's a pen0r, ignore what he says.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

... stupid lag :|

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

good one Muted. You jerked me around? Fanciful arent you?

Posts: 395

Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Yes. I made you talk to me 1:1, just to show you that your ex. isn't worth the dirt on his feet.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Helping someone isnt jerking them around.. thanks again by the way..

Posts: 395

Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Depends on how you perceive it. If I can make you understand by example, maybe you will, or already have.

Your ex. jerks you around, and you're attached to him.
I can jerk you around, and I don't even know you <- Something is wrong with that.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Muted, you cant jerk me around, because I am not attached to you. I let one myself attach to one man, and I wont ever do it again.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Never say never. - Miss Frizzle (The Magic School Bus!)

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Posted 9 years ago
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