Home > Forum > Parents > Getting thru Anger and Pain in a seperation/custody battle
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

It isn't going to happen. Should just ignore it. Takes time, you get used to it.

Posts: 39285

Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Leese, Im gonna try to call you tonight. I have been thru this shit. You keep your head up and you keep your baby safe. Fuck his feelings right now. Its about her, not him.

If you dont have temporary custody, you need to get it as soon as possible without mentioning it to him. If there is concern for her safety, the courts will award you temporary custody. That may even be enough to make him back off and give up. Its all about control for him and you know it. Be strong. Dont let him scare you.

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

You can't make him be a daddy if he doesn't want to be. He's not good for her.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

I have full custody ... he doesnt even have visitation....
He wouldnt sign the birth certificate cuz he didnt want to pay child support.

Posts: 395

Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

He's not good for her.
It's not that he's "not good for her," it's he doesn't want her.
Power thing...

He wouldnt sign the birth certificate cuz he didnt want to pay child support.
*Hint hint*, oh and yo', you shouldn't be crying.

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Really wish Webdate would clear the trash on this site.




He doesn't want her means he's not good for her.

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

You're right. Never thought it like that.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Hes back to wanting her now though

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

Reply to: Hes back to wanting her now though
So is he going to sign her birth certificate yet?

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Hes back to wanting her now though
He knows that he can hurt you by saying he wants to take her from you.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

No, now he has to pay child support (starts in June) so NOW he wants full custody, (he doesnt want to have pay child support and not have custody.. I guess) but putting him on the birth ceritifcate now would make it easier for him to get custody... I dont want him to have custody.. my daughter would never be the same and Im afraid of never gettign to see her again...

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

He can't go back and forth from wanting her to not wanting her.


He never wanted her to begin with. You just have to accept that and enjoy that fact that regardless, you HAVE her. As long as you love her, that's all that matters.

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Reply to: No, now he has to pay child support (starts in June) so NOW he wants full custo...
He wants full custody so he doesn't have to pay the money. It's not your daughter he loves, it's his money.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

As long as you love her, that's all that matters.
Vouch!

We ll, for now anyhow. Maybe when he quits wanting a power struggle and submisses (as if that'll ever happen in THIS culture), you two can get back together.

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

And getting back together will prove what? That he has control of any situation.

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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

It'll give her daughter a father?

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

She doesn't need that kind of father.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

I need him to be a Daddy, but I dont need him to be my bf...
and there are plenty of good Dads out there who arent still with their childrens mother.. my X just hasnt got there yet...

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

It's been 10 months. If he hasn't gotten there by now, he's not going to.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Crap, right now I need to play smart, not kind...
I wish I had a freaking lawyer .... I am afraid to not let him see her because that might make me look bad in court also.. could it possibly?

Posts: 395

Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

I'd make a fine father! :D LOL!

Yo', if you're still feeling like shit, here's a funny (no word) song that'll cheer you up:
http : // www . youtube . com / watch ? v = 1sWv7GEkq2U & feature = related

To not give him fair play? Sure. I could easily (personally) see that as a flaw.

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Posted 9 years ago
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peggyp

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: It's been 10 months. If he hasn't gotten there by now, he's not going to.
My oldest daughter is 18 and their Dad still pulls the same stupid bullshit he did when they were little. He's not going to change because he doesn't want or know how to be a dad to them. They turned out to be amazing, intelligent young ladies without his help. Having a Dad is an wonderful thing, but good Moms can do it alone. You are a good Mom. You can do it.

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Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Reply to: Crap, right now I need to play smart, not kind... I wish I had a freaking lawye...
He could try, but given all the evidence you have against him, he'll never pull it off.

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Posted 9 years ago
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Leese71

Joined: 5/15/2009

Reply to: My oldest daughter is 18 and their Dad still pulls the same stupid bullshit he ...
Thanks all of you for your help....

Unfortunately Im hopelessly deadlocked... Im going to have to put up wiht his bs and be stressed until he either A) changes or B) leaves all together. I cant just tell him he can never see her again.. but I will NOT let her go unsafe.. so if he cant deal wiht my rules.. screw him. He is trying to have a stranger move in at the moment. from an ad hes placing on craigslist.. I find this to be soooo unsafe for Emily (not to mention my X) So, he cant have her overnight. And, before this person moves in.. I get to meet the person. I can get a background check run on him or her..

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Posted 9 years ago
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Muted

Joined: 5/13/2009

So long as no physical harm comes to the child, there is absolutely NO reason he cannot see his daughter. If there is NO danger, or threat to the child, there's absolutely no reason he cannot see her.

As for running a background check, criminal past, etc. That's fine. Precautiaus!

A) Anybody can change, if they want to (hi claire178)
B) That isn't going to happen, ever. I don't personally think.

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Posted 9 years ago
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