Its hard enough having to be a single mom and working 55 hrs plus a week, rushing to day care get ur baby, rush home clean, cook, get ready for all day put the kids to sleep and then having to date its so hard, men cant understand that the few hours a week u have off u have to attend to ur child so the mistrust starts building...or they cheat cuz they feel that u r as well tho thruth be told when u say i cant go out my sitter cancelled it really is what u said...
and u cant have a man hangn out with and coming over with ur kid not until u have at least dated him for a certain period of time so that u know he will stick around u dont want ur kid getn the wrong impression...

Not all men are like that. I am divorced and have a three year old daughter. I have her 50/50 and I understand what kids mean. I put my daughter first and have lost a few women I have dated because they wanted to be first. No one will come first over my little one.

Hey there, I'm a single father of an 8yr old girl. I have full custody, and i've had her since she was 1. I can't stress how 'hard' this is, and I have the utmost respect for all single mothers that are doing it now and that has done it before me. I took on this responsibility because I wanted to, and because I didn't grow up with my father. My daughter didn't ask to come here, but now that she's here. It's up to daddy to provide. The dating scene, is just outright crazy when you're a single parent. It has ceased to be about ME. I live every day for her, and women that can't understand that she comes first, can 'kick rocks'. My daughter WILL look at me when she gets older and know that I did all I could and sacraficed an ungodly amount to raise a WOMAN.

Couldn't have said it better myself...I have an 8 yr old son and I feel the same way.

You are a man most women would look for. I have 4 young children that lives with me and I just recently became seperated. It is hard finding a good man that understands that children comes first. I would love to date once that man comes into my life and understand this. I have time for both I just have to find that special someone that my children and I would like. My children would love to see their mommy happy.

I work around my childrens schedule. It is very important to me to be there in the morning so that I can put them on the bus and then in the afternoon when they get off the bus. It is very hard to trust anyone I just moved to Lynchburg Virginia from Pittsylvania Virginia. Most men would run from a woman with kids that is what my husband did.
I was married for 12 years each of the children is his. He cheated on me and the kids. He didnt care about me and he started neglecting his children also. He used his free time and his break time to be with a married woman that has kids also. They worked together he bought her new outfits and shoes everytime he got paid which is biweekly. I was working paying cell phones bills, house phone bill, utility bills, and van payment. He was clean everyday, bought Michael Jordan tennis shoes for his self. Our kids had 1 pair of shoes for school but his married mistress had new shoes, clothes, and pocketbooks. And he also took her out to the Roanoke motel while me and the kids was sitting at home wondering where he was. My children feel neglected by him they tell me all the time that daddy dont love them but mommy do. I feel so bad about them saying this I have told them that Daddy loves them so many times.
So please if you cheat on your significant other please make sure that the children is being taking care of financial and emotional. I do not receive any child support for 4 children please can somebody help me decide what to do. I shouldnt have to work as hard as I do my children do deserve that financial money every two weeks not his married mistress.

All of you with younger children, dont make the mistakes that I did,remember its wonderful to put your children first, but you need time for yourselves too. I am a single mom of a 14 yr old. His dad left when he was 6 months and has not seen him since. When my son was young, my world revolved around him, but I dated some. Then when he was like 5, he didnt really want mom dating, so I didnt. Now he's 14 and wants me to get a life...so here I sit, have not had a date in 10 years and cant seem to find anyone...

I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU CREDIT. YOU DESERVE IT. IT'S NOT VERY OFTEN YOU SEE A DAD, ESPECIALLY A SINGLE ONE STEPPING UP. KUDOS

I'm a single father also, With custody of my 2 boys who are now 15 and 7, My advice would be to try and find someone in a similar situation to your own (and a good babysitter). Most people who have always been single can't understand the priorities of a single parent.

I am a single mother of a daughter that will soon turn ten. I have two older children that help out when they can, and my parents help alot. She hasnt seen her father in over three years. She is my world. Being 50 and raising a child is difficult at times. But I chose to leave and I knew it would be difficult. just didnt realize that dating would be difficult too. Finding someone my age that is willing to except the fact that I have a child and is not that easy. I feel at times I was very selfish to bring her here, so I find myself wondering if it is even right for me to bring another man into her life, to take time from her to be with someone. I dont know, guess there isnt a book on "Single Parent Trying To Date"?

I am a single mother of a daughter that will soon turn ten. I have two older children that help out when they can, and my parents help alot. She hasnt seen her father in over three years. She is my world. Being 50 and raising a child is difficult at times. But I chose to leave and I knew it would be difficult. just didnt realize that dating would be difficult too. Finding someone my age that is willing to except the fact that I have a child and is not that easy. I feel at times I was very selfish to bring her here, so I find myself wondering if it is even right for me to bring another man into her life, to take time from her to be with someone. I dont know, guess there isnt a book on "Single Parent Trying To Date"?

I'm 41 & i would not have a problem with you having a child already.as a matter of fact that would be sexy & hot.I love MILF's,lol.I'm not single but if i were then you already having a kid is a plus.for i love kids.

Good for you!

I'm a single mom of 9 year old twins. It is unbelievably hard.

I like what one of you said, "there isn't a book for singleparents dating" but I suppose one has to use common sense. I raised my last daughter, almost singlehandedly. I had the greatest time as a dad. We chased down hockey tournaments all over the usa and canada; she played for a Dallas Junior girls' team through out her high school years. I just didn't have time for a woman, no regrets! I'm now raising a 4 yr old. Someone wise told me that there is a difference between a child and a lover. If you can acknowlege that, then you should not really have problems dating. Some very Intelligent and well meaning people cannot seem to make that differentiaton!

Don't feel bad about setting aside time for yourself. You can still be a caring, there-for-your-kids kind of mom, but sometimes you need a break and deserve some time for yourself. I know because I would feel guilty, but it is okay to date, if you can keep it balanced. I wouldn't let the man I am dating meet my child, unless I knew him for quite a while and the trust was there. No need for her to get used to a person being around and have to see him go. I want my daughter to see, some day, there are men out there that are decent.

Karma,

I'm the same. I have a 15 yr. old daughter. Her dancing and activities have encompassed my life. We were always together. Now she is growing up. She doesn't want mom to come to the movies with her anymore. If we go shopping with another friend they walk two miles ahead or in back of me. In the Summers and weekends she is making plans to stay over with older sisters or friends. I'm finding myself alone. The past couple of years I have turned every offer down. I haven't been dating because I don't feel like explaining my life to one more person. My life has been raising the children. I have four of my own. Three are finished college. This last one has kept me going. I never expected to live my life alone. I was always happy being married. You never know what changes will occur in life. Now, I'm talking to men on the computer. But, I have been doing that for years and none of them really pan out or enter my real life. I don't know what the answer is? I guess it must be destiny. Another thing that I deal with is my daughter will bring up the fact that I am meeting men on the computer like it is a terrible sin. I don't really talk on the computer much if she is home. Sometimes I feel guilty if I am talking to someone and she walks in and asks me a question. She makes me feel like I am not giving her enough attention although I always stop to answer her or cut the conversation short to do whatever it is she wants. It isn't easy being a single parent. Even if the opportunity to meet someone presents itself you can't always spend the time needed to pursue it.

you all have it a bit easy my girls are 7,5,3 it is not an easy task being a single parent and to date all guys i have met only want sex and money. the sooner they can get rid of the kids the better off they think they are

I became a single father at the age of 3. I attempted to assimilate my kid into my dating world at the outset. It was not working. My kid felt that I was dividing attention while my dates were trying to win me through my child. It was uncomfortable for everybody. I had a great support group. I had female friends who were wonderful female role models, but looking for Ms Right was different. Though kids are the most important thing in a single parent's life (or should be), there is a sense of identity, self esteem and romantic issues that weigh heavy on the other side. I was divorced, was I still wanted? Was I attractive? Was I really as tired as I felt raising the kid alone?
Side note: One promising romance wanted to take my kid (age 6 at the time) and I to lunch. I was still sneaking out for a cigarette under the ruse I needed to go to the bathroom. When I got back my date was white faced. It seems that when she told my kid that she really liked me, my child replied "You haven't got a chance in hell!" Wow!
How to make it work is to slow the process. Get to know your partner before throwing them into the fire and vice versa. Kids are perceptive, but kids are also extremely jealous. When the time is right to have a melding of the two worlds, stay away from places that have special meaning between parent and kid and leaves you as an outsider. Bring along a friend for the child or include other siblings when the chance arises. Picnics and family outings and cookouts work out well. Movies and pizza work out better.
The key is to take it slow, if you think it is going to work and be honest if you think it is falling apart. Honesty will save your time and money, and is a great lesson teacher for the younger ones!

I'm a single dad too with full custody of my 15 y/o son. I have found that focusing on him , his education and well being keep me too busy to think about dating. I did see one woman who seemed to have forgotten what responsibilities come with single parenthood and it didn't work out. It's tough I know but keeping my focus on him keeps me busy enough. I know one thing.....any woman that criticizes my son or tells me I am TOO busy for her because of him........will never have a chance with me. As single parents sometimes our dating partners don't know nor need to know all the details of our past regarding the other parent and if they judge us and our children then they're most likely NOT gonna make it a healthy relationship.

I agree with your views BUT your a person too not just a parent. make some time for yourself or you may end up resenting you kids!

I MORE THAN MOST UNDERSTAND THE DIFFICULTY OF BEING A SINGLE PARENT. I DIDN'T HAVE TO BECOME A PARENT, I CHOSE TO BECOME ONE. I HAVE 7 KIDS. 3,5,10,11,13,14,AND,18 TWO OF THEM WITH SPECIAL NEEDS. SO ITS NOT ALWAYS AS EASY AS MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF. SOMETIMES WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BRING KIDS INTO YOUR LIFE, IT TRULY NEEDS TO BE ABOUT THEM FOR A WHILE. EVENTUALLY, THEY SEE THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE OTHER HAPPINESS TOO. ONE THAT THEIR LOVE ALONE CAN'T SUPPLY. THEN IT'S TIME FOR YOU. SO BE PATIENT, AND LEARN EXACTLY WHAT IT IS YOU WANT AND NEED IN THE TIME THAT YOU HAVE. THAT WAY IT'S EASIER TO FIND.

Holy shit girl! 7 kids? You must be a saint! lol I thought 4 was hard enough! lol I babysit for my sister alot and a friend of mine.....both single mom's and I gotta say the days I watch 6-8 kids are the days I wanna sit in the corner and rock. lol Good going! Keep up the good work!

Every time i wanna ask a question or say something about my life i feel like im beggin for something. like right now i wanna ask for advice on my two kids im raisin (girl 3,boy 4) especially what to do with girls. i was raised with 3 bros and i only really know how to be a guy. my mom is a cowgirl and really didnt care about looking feminine and plus why would i want to learn that (at least till now) so im totally lost with my daughter and my boy i just know what not to do. i have no ides what i should be doing. im a normal guy with normal wants and desires i just have 2 kids and i cant find the time energy or anyone to try and build something with. shoot id settle for a lot less then a relationship so long as my kids do not get hurt. im 23 and i keep hearin about these girls that would love to date a single father that shows all the love and compassion and commitment to a family that these girls supposedly want but i havent met a single one. why does it gotta be so hard even making friends as a single parent?

I think if you just love your kids, be there for them, provide a stable, positive home for them, with consistent rules/discipline, teaching them right from wrong, manners and respect, they will be just fine. Your little girl may seek out a role model, but it doesn't have to be a feminine person. As long as the person or people she looks up to, have positive qualities that she can trust, turn to, ask for advice as she gets older, I think she will be be ok.
As for you finding a girl for you to date, or a relationship, it's tough. I hear you. You being a single parent won't have much free time, energy, or even funds to persue a relationship. I guess it is about priorities. What is most important to you? You can still date, but finding a person of quality, that is up to you. If I were you, I wouldn't settle for less, but that is your choice. I would be cautious about who you bring home to meet your children. If your children are seeking a "mom" figure in the home, it may be confusing to them, and the girl you meet, may be intimidated by the situation. Take it one day at a time, have patience, and seek out someone who has the qualities, that one day, after time and trust develops, you wouldn't mind introducing to your children. Goodluck to you.

I can so understand & appreciate what everyone is saying as I too am a single dad.

As for dating.... pretty well given up as only chance I'd have of meeting someone is on the odd occasion he's up his mums during school holidays and what with being of a shy disposition and never having been a socialite, pubs etc are out leaving online as a first step which considering she quizzes him about me and then uses anything she can to have a go legally or otherwise.. isn't easy either.

Good luck to everyone that tries to juggle it into their busy schedule.

The hardest part is finding someone who will accept you and your child. I have met a few great guys on here but I think most of the time some guys just want the physical part. I also think as mothers and father we need to set our standards higher than we do because our kids are involved. My favorite quote is "I would rather be healthy by myself then sick with someone else." Sometimes being alone and getting your life together is the priority and then that person who TRULY respects that will come along.