I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 yrs and all I can say is that im totally broken hearted. All the "self help" books say you gotta get back out there but I dont think I can take this kind of pain anymore. I think about him all the time...i even foolishly went on a "date" with him last week and he told me that its over for good that he doesnt want me or a relationship and that he no longer was in love with me. It was like someone punched me in the stomach because I thought he and I would be together forever. Now here it is christmas eve and I miss him or do I miss the thought of him? I dunno but im miserable. He still ims me and tries to be my friend and as tempted as I am to talk to him I dont because its just too painful. Will I ever find anyone??

do you want with me get nmarried?ı am very serious.

YES.. you WILL find someone.. give yourself a lil bit of time.. I think he is going through the midlife crisis right now.. shame that he will regret later what he did to you.. painful as it is though, stand your ground, and don't answer him.. let him know how it feels to not be wanted... you are quite attractive and the RIGHT guy will find you..(and NOT the guy from Turkey) and you will realize that in order to LOVE completly you have to be willing to be HURT.. you hold it in and you will not really experience the joy it can bring..
Give yourself some time..
J

Sounds to me like he enjoys dragging you behind him...........tell him to stop with the IM's and such. I went through it too and although it hurts for sure......a clean and COMPLETE break is what you need. Give yourself a few months. It seems like forever but it'll pass soon enough. The wonds are still fresh, and it may take time for the scars to heal and fade away, but you need to COMPLETELY break it off.....if he says he doesn't love you anymore........let him be the one to regret what he did, not you.

thank you so much for advice Joyce...He is going through a midlife crisis thats for sure...I havent talked to him in a while yet he still continues to call but today for the first time when he called I didnt answer then he called again 10 mins later and as bad as I wanted to talk to him I held firm and just ignored it again. I wanted him tofeel a little of what i been going thru even if it didnt i felt better and in more control by not answering the phone. lol that guy from Turkey sure wants a wife...if that pic is really of him I might pretend to be his wife for about an hour lol thanks again
Debra

thanks wing...my sis told me about the same as you did that he knows he has control of me but im taking that away. tysm for the advice
Debra

hi...never to late to find a soulmate..may not be what you expect, or when you expect but it will happen..as far as the boyfriend goes..yes, let him sweat for a little while..he might actually come to his senses, plus it shows that you are every bit his equal..the way it should be..hang in there.

we are human , and if u back to scince human are selfish even if we dont show it but Scientifically its truth , when u tell some onee that u love him he had all confident of u if he wasnt love u , so he will try to hurt u , but u can just leave him go a way but for sure if he love u he will back to you

sure its not late to find ur soulmate , cause love great cant dead with age or time or place u can say love have no parametres , belive me ur heart still Fails and u still breathing and u didnt give up ( must be good person ..... } u will find ur soulmate as soon is possible :)

My mother tells me it is too late for me to find someone. She is 80 and has been alone for a long time. I'm really beginning to believe her. Everyone I do meet is never sincere. They tell me everything I am hoping to hear and end up being a liar.

My apologies Lynncat... but your mother was from a different time.. women didn't make the first move in her day.. things ARE different now.. you can be the agressor.. and apparently the GOOD GUYS are shy... you need to break the ice with them.. try it sometime.. could be the best move you ever made..
J

You are not alone Lynncat, i too find it difficult to find a man who is sincere....a lot of sweet talk n then everything turns into lies. Wonder why men have such a big need of telling stories?

would like to meet you.

lil_ladybug,

Here's my best advice, not meant to wound but to help you heal:

1. Stay away from the fools who break your heart. They would do it all over again in a heartbeat and drag you into their world of non-committal dysfunction.

2. Honestly, there are no guarantees in life. That includes finding someone to love and be loved by. Any one of us can easily end up old and alone. Millions do. But we can tip the odds in our favor by being our best.

3. Our "best" means getting back to basics. Getting counseling to expel the rancid hurts from our hearts. Learning to love ourselves without needing it from another. Getting busy with life -- "busy being born" as Dylan put it. Finding new interests, new challenges for ourselves, new work, new pleasures outside the realm of romance. And then, perhaps ...

4. ... when we can bring the joy of life to the table again, love on our own terms.

God bless and best wishes. You aren't crazy. You're just experiencing the pain of self-doubt and rejection. Perfectly natural. But not the normal state of mind you were created for.

Don't give up hope. Time will help. Surround yourself with family and friends who are caring. Do the fun things you have been putting off. Take the time to recover and get over the hurt and when you date again, take your time and choose carefully. Goodluck.

You fucking women and your deluded fairy tale "soul mate" bullshit. Fucking get off of your fat asses, turn off opigrah and the "lifetime" channel and HIT THE TREADMILL !!!

www.menarebettertha nwomen.com
www.nomarriage.c om

1) Selfish - to the point where they don't know the difference between love of self and plain downright greed--and drilled into believing that whatever happens is the fault of whatever man is in their life because of the feminist crud drilled into them by the cadre of asexual closet cases called "therapists" who appear on "Ricki", "Oprah" or other such electronic drivel
2) Deluded - into thinking they "deserve" a rich, model-handsome husband who will "take them away from all of this"--whatever the "this" might be--and leading to resentment when they discover that the universe does NOT revolve around them
3) Angry - ALL the damn time about things which are so far out of their control as to be nonsensical--and constantly wanting to "discuss" this mind numbing drivel ad nauseam
4) Psychotic - multiple personalities in the same woman - as "Nomad" put it in the "Star Trek" episode: "Woman...a mass of inconsistencies...", and also when the feminist voices in their heads start with the regrets and victim acculturation
5) Worthless - anything that does not immediately resolve itself in her favor or to her benefit is meaningless to her, especially husband and family
6) Lazy - drilled into their head that they "deserve" a maid, nanny and personal slave to take care of every detail - and that their husband/boyfriend is REQUIRED to cater to their each and every mindless whim
7) Resentful - especially of other women who have things that they do not, in material, spiritual and esoteric senses
8) Greedy - to them, "housekeeping" means getting the house in the divorce (thanks to Zsa Zsa for that immortal line) and sucking the guy for every last cent, even if they had nothing to do with the building of the nest egg
9) Mindless - constant, irritating, idle prattle about topics they read about in some women's magazine and then become instant experts--particularly pop psychology and the latest crap they see on "Oprah" or "Ricki"
10) Vain - believing that they are irresistible to everything in pants and therefore are allowed to behave sluttish and without any honor.

Typical female, always blaming the men. Maybe it's YOU Ever think of that? of course not, you're female you're unABLE to think for yourself.

www.menarebet terthanwomen.com
www.nomarr iage.com

1) Selfish - to the point where they don't know the difference between love of self and plain downright greed--and drilled into believing that whatever happens is the fault of whatever man is in their life because of the feminist crud drilled into them by the cadre of asexual closet cases called "therapists" who appear on "Ricki", "Oprah" or other such electronic drivel
2) Deluded - into thinking they "deserve" a rich, model-handsome husband who will "take them away from all of this"--whatever the "this" might be--and leading to resentment when they discover that the universe does NOT revolve around them
3) Angry - ALL the damn time about things which are so far out of their control as to be nonsensical--and constantly wanting to "discuss" this mind numbing drivel ad nauseam
4) Psychotic - multiple personalities in the same woman - as "Nomad" put it in the "Star Trek" episode: "Woman...a mass of inconsistencies...", and also when the feminist voices in their heads start with the regrets and victim acculturation
5) Worthless - anything that does not immediately resolve itself in her favor or to her benefit is meaningless to her, especially husband and family
6) Lazy - drilled into their head that they "deserve" a maid, nanny and personal slave to take care of every detail - and that their husband/boyfriend is REQUIRED to cater to their each and every mindless whim
7) Resentful - especially of other women who have things that they do not, in material, spiritual and esoteric senses
8) Greedy - to them, "housekeeping" means getting the house in the divorce (thanks to Zsa Zsa for that immortal line) and sucking the guy for every last cent, even if they had nothing to do with the building of the nest egg
9) Mindless - constant, irritating, idle prattle about topics they read about in some women's magazine and then become instant experts--particularly pop psychology and the latest crap they see on "Oprah" or "Ricki"
10) Vain - believing that they are irresistible to everything in pants and therefore are allowed to behave sluttish and without any honor.

You are terribly wrong about this lady. I got no house or material anything from divorce. My second marriage ended in divorce after six months, leaving me pregnant with a daughter I have raised alone without child support. I am not angry toward men but, I should be. Nothing has been easy. I have worked all day and into the evenings. Thank God for my teaching degree. All I need in my life is someone who can hold up his end and love me. I'm getting older and will be retiring soon. I would like to find someone to get old with. I don't watch Oprah or Ricki. There is no time in my life for that. There is not much T.V. I do exercise and don't sit on my behind all day. I'm not a slut but, if it makes you feel good to call me that go ahead.

I admire you lynncat for taking care of business ... that's what people who care do. Don't worry about mast, he is just a confused little boy who prefers the company of men to the company of women.

Take care and I hope you find your partner in life.

Thank you,
I have read many of your posts. You are a kind man. Sometimes words in written form show a person's true character. I have always enjoyed writing and that is why I post on the forums. My only son is celebrating his wedding at a reception today. He told me about the reception a year ago. I was hoping over the year I would find that special partner to dance with. But, I'm going alone. He wanted me to select the song to dance to for the mother/son dance. I selected; "You light up my life!" Thank God for my children. I have been blessed. I'm not unhappy, just want to be complete. I do appreciate your kindness.

"without child support" FUCKING child support villanizes MEN and pads the pocket of FUCKING CUNT females!!! You spread your fucking legs, deal with the fact of having a rotten fucking brat kid. YOUR issue, not societies and nor does it make you a fucking "victim" stupid fucking female PIG

I must apologize to you Lynn ... I know that some of my posts have not been very pleasant to read. I'm not one who will back down from mean spirited people who try to intimidate and bully others.

Mast, loose the attitude you are not impressing anyone. Lynn - good for you! Live - you have a wonderful attitude and enjoy your posts. Insight and intellect and ingredients for good conversation...wish we had more of that on these forums...

Thanks AP1 ... it is appreciated.

you are quite welcome.