I divorced my mistake of a first husband in 1991 then remarried a wonderful guy in 1998 only for him to suddenly die 19 months later.

It's taken a LONG time to stop feeling guilty on a date and actually be comfortable spending time with someone new.

Has anyone else had this problem?

I have not had that problem,but I do not think you should feel guilty about dating again.You can't live your life feeling guilty about something you had no control over.

that is NOT where the guilty feelings come from...

the "head" knows it's single and the "heart" thought it was still married!!

it happened so sudden that it wasn't even like a divorce had happened----

married one day and single the next......

admittedly one of those things that widowed people understand best.

it took a long time for me to stop feeling guilty to enjoy myself---

even longer to stop feeling guilty because i went on a date.

I"m there now, have been awhile now, just wondering how many others may feel that way

Why are you feeling guilty while on a date? It sounds like it's been a few years since your husband has crossed over. But I still understand what you're saying. Just remember... Everyone deserves a Happy Every After Ending. Your late husband is at peace now, I'm sure he would be unhappy if he thought you were still sad. My hope is with you.... Good Luck.

Wow.. I thought i was the only one living this... i have been widowed for the past 7 years.. have had friends.. but i don`t really believe i can find love again.. is that how u feel too..

i agree with lee. if you truly loved each other, he would not want you to sit at home and be unhappy. i know i wouldn't.
it is a great tribute to someone if you marry again. it shows that was a happy time in your life and you want to experience it again.

uh... I didn't have someone that passed over. But my ex did go nuts though... she left me and our 3 children. I was deeply hurt that she left, and deeply angry that she turned her back on her own kids. So I hid behind raising children for a long time. Not dating at all. But I finally emerged from that as my kids got older.

LOL... But as far as love goes... I'm not looking for it, don't expect it, would like if it found me, but if it doesn't, I'm fine, if it does, I'm great. LOL... Hope that makes sense to someone... ROFL... But I have found that you do have to put yourself out there... sitting at home waiting for someone to come knock at your door isn't going to work. Since I have started circulating myself, I may not have run into Ms Right, but have made some really terrific friends. So, it's a no lose situation.

lee, i just meant i agreed with what you had said. i did know that your spouse had not passed on.

Hey sasseredhead and princessdidi, Sorry for your loss! There is light at the end of the tunnel, took me 4 years to reach it after my soul mate passed away but it is there....I relate to what you are saying, even thought we know our loved one is no longer with us, we have this guilt feeling( duno where it come's from) but you and I are not alone when it come's to this feeling.....give yourself time to heal and accept what has transpired.....with time this feeling will pass....it is still to soon for you and you have not accepted the fact that he is not coming back.this is a normal feeling....Time is the only healing and threw time a lot of what you are feeling now, will slowly pass away and you can begin to enjoy your life as he would have wanted you to.
I never thought I could fall in love again after being with my soul mate partner husband for a wonderful 20 years... but you can princess :O) it just takes time . once you let yourself be yourself again, it will happen when you least expect it.just be wise who you let in your life.....a lot of players and user's out in this world..... give yourself time to heal! if you need someone to talk with who can relate with you ,feel free to contract me.....in the mean time keep your chin up!

YOU probably killed him you fucking cunt. "Mistake" of a 1st husband. Takes two to tango. YOU'RE just as responsible for marrying him. Stupid finger pointing fucking CUNT

www.menarebetterth anwomen.com

Currently, so much time has passed that I no longer feel guilty while dating.
The guilt feelings are a common transitional thing that I've come to learn, many other widowed people also have experienced.

It has now been over 10 years since he has crossed over. I'm at peace with this and in my life as well.

THank you for the encouragement! :)

Everything and anything is possible to those who believe it! For now, rediscover who you are and enjoy yourself. Everything else will fall into place! Good luck!! :)

:) I agree, Lee!!

Now that I'm in college full time and have started a new venture---or say a new chapter in my life, everything is new again.

I learned that I can take the happiness from my marriage and carry it in my heart. It's shared with everyone in the way of a smile, encouragement, even to things as small as directions around campus or help with school work where possible.

I've made scores of friends of all ages and am enjoying my life fuller than before.

Love will find those who are not looking---that is exactly how it happened to me before!

Until then, I'll live in God's love and share my happiness. :)

It was part of the grieving process.

Many years have passed and I do not feel that way anymore.

LOL Quite truthfully...IF I ever feel guilty while dating now it's usually because the date may not be going well and that I should be home doing homework or studying. :)

:) Life is good. I did promise my late husband that if anything ever happened to him that I would remarry---just didn't say when! Only God knows when! :)

Thank you so much! Your letter was a ray of sunshine!
Have a very blessed day and the best to you in your "new life" :)

There is a psychatrist somewhere who may possibly be able to help you!! BUT only if YOU want to be helped!!

My SECOND marriage was my blessing. It is the happiness that will continue guiding me life-long with the blessings that were provided.

Love kills nobody, hateful words such as the ones you spoke do!

Sorry for your bitterness.

Hi sass, I was married to the wrong man the first time too, although we still have remained friends and I learned from my mistakes from that one to move on to my soulmate too.. We were together 7yrs before he passed suddenly from a massive heart attack. It has been almost 6yrs now, and It took me 4yrs to let go and move on. I felt all the same things you have and still felt married. I agree with one of the posts that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I just found another wonderful man named Allen and we are living together right now. I found him on plentyoffish, even though been on wd for 4 yrs. lol
Yours will come when your not looking and truely ready for him to come into your life. I feel so blessed to have Allen now, and thank God for bringing him into my life. So keep the faith and God will let you find another good man.
tc Rebaw

I filed for an order of separation,custody of my child and within a few months,my wife died of a drug overdose at the hand of her new "boyfriend" in a Crack hotel in Oakland Ca.!

oh. And the boyfriend was not charged with murder...

geeeeeeeee...what an ass!

if you really believe men are better than women why bother with me?

:D thank you!