As hard as it is to believe, I actually have permission from my loving wife to have something discreet on the side. It's a simple case of miss-matched sex drives. We both believe that, should I find myself a "bed-buddy" (so-to-speak), the sexual pressure at home would subside. Thus, my question...

Am I the only one around who is happily married but with a spouse who is no longer as interested in sex (not just with me - but sex in general) as she used to be, or is it more common than I realize? If you are in the same position - with or without permission :) - let me know how you and your spouse deal with it.

have you ever thought about getting some couples/sex counselling? maybe you can find out why she has no interest in sex.

have you ever thought about getting some cpuples/sex counselling?  maybe you can find out why she has no interest in sex.

We've spoken about it, but that isn't going to be it. It's simply no desire. Sure, there are times where we play - but they are VERY far between.

The situation, will turn into a shituation believe me, I do not know of anyone who can really keep it purely sexual with no feelings involved. Counseling is great advice.

This sounds very unreal. I don't think it is normal for a woman to tell her man to find someone else to satisfy him. She better go get herself checked. If it was me I would be asking the doctor to give me something to help me. What is wrong with your wife? You cannot possible be happy like this. It will turn into a major nighmare. Get help or talk to her about seeing a doctor.

Having Sex on the side isn't the answer. I think you need to read between the lines.Is there something else going on? Maybe your wife is just having a crisis and needs some counseling.

Tried it when i was young..doesn't work..You will see its just a temp fix..

Might just be "the change", might be low hormone levels, have her see a doctor about the potential physical causes of a low sex drive. The emotional damage to both of you from "banging another woman" will probably kill the whole relationship eventually. Highly not recommended...

Wow. We are in almost in the exact same boat except my wife would never give me permission. And she also refuses counseling - she even got pissed at me several years ago when I sought counseling alone (since she wouldn't).

She also will not discuss it with a doctor since she does not think there is anything wrong with only having sex once or twice a year. And yet she wonders why I always seem tense and unhappy these days.

To all you men who believe a discrete affair will satisfy your sexual problems with you wives...a few suggestions:

1. Put soome romance back into your marriage, take her to a romantic getaway, shower her with little notes of romantic nature, have flowers sent to work or delivered at home (just because), or leave her romantic voicemails.

2. Discuss your feelings with her and remind her why you two got married.

3. Create date night where you two spend alone time each week, doing something you would do if you just met.

4. Discuss fantasies with your wives. Ask her what she dreams about, secret lovers, getaways etc.

5. Buy her an piece of lingerie delivered with one long stem red rose.

Before you decide to break your vows with the one you love...think...it will not enhance your relationship and may very well end it...even if she doesn't know.

I will not discredit your comments Amazon... but remind her WHY you got married??? if his answer was "sex anytime I want"... it is NOT gonna go over well.. Some women do NOT respond to romance the same as others.. and it seems as though the few men who have posted are married to those women...
Just my 2 cents though...

Alterego45x, I'm behind your wife, all the way! I have an amazingly high sex drive, but I've still granted permission.... a few times in my life. It worked wonderfully, the first time. Now, I'm in the opposite position, so to speak.

I'm not married, but after being with the same man for thirteen years.... well, let's just say that he is just where he ought to be, sexually, for his age, while my sex drive is still out of the ballpark. Our solution: I am there for him anytime, but to take the pressure off of him, we have decided that I can have bisexual female lovers, just no men. I am ecstatic, and he is much more relaxed and happy. When a woman I see wants us as a couple, and he is up for it, he joins us. Color us happy!

helo are u only looking for the one u may love and beloved be u then i think u mast reply me as intrest to know how mach i can be loved by you, take care

helo are u only looking for the one u may love and beloved be u then i think u mast reply me as intrest to know how mach i can be loved by you, take care

helo are u only looking for the one u may love and beloved be u then i think u mast reply me as intrest to know how mach i can be loved by you, take care

HUH????

LOL, my thought exactly...HUH???

How about starting out with finding out if there is something organically wrong? Are her hormones within normal limits? Remember its not just estrogen but all three- estrogen progestrogen and testosterone. It may take three to six months to get the levels right for her. Find somone that uses natural forms of those hormones and is consistent about checking her levels; not afraid to adjust the dosages.
After finding out if there are any organic causes, then you can decide if counseling is right for you.
Depression can be another thing that saps someone's sex drive.
Remember menopause affects both men and women.

Remember menopause affects both men and women.

She should have her testoserone level checked. A woman I know had a very low sex drive. She found out her level was very low and started taking a supplement and her interest in sex increased greatly.

Wheel .... dis dude .... posted dis spheel 2 yar ago ....

Me wonder if dey still tagedder or snot?

lol.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't as interested in sex as I am. I really feel that sex is a big part of a loving relationship. I wouldn't want to go elsewhere to have my needs met that way. I just don't think it would work for me. Just my opinion. Good luck to you.