I finally found a woman (not on this website) who is looking for the same honest and open extramarital relationship as I am. She politely turned me down due to my age ... 58. She's in her 40's. Feel like I've been punched in the gut. I need a drink. See you later.

wonder why age would be an issue when it just for a extramarital fling?

lol ... its not ... its an excuse.

Age shouldn't make a difference. But...if you find yourself with someone very young, well they haven't started their life yet. I'm 46 and I had a 29 yr old who wanted to marry me. I don't think it would be fair to him. I feel like I would hold him back. In terms of marriage is ok, but wanting to have children? I already have kids and don't want anymore especially at my age. I think he should have kids of his own. I'm at the stage where it's my turn, my kids are growing and I cannot see myself settling down with a baby at this point. If he doesn't want that, then it's ok, but hey, 10 yrs from now? I'll be 56 and he'll be 39, I think his eyes will definitely wander.

Perhaps you should be looking from WITHIN the marriage you are in. The physical intimacy may return (unless there is a health problem) but sex is NOT what an entire relationship is built on.

Find happiness in what you have. You may learn that you've been blessed beyond your imagination!

I don't believe in extramarital affairs. I've never cheated on my mate and don't plan on starting now... Just my feelings

As far as the age issue... I'm 60.. I have a cutoff set at 45 and thinking about moving that up now.. LOL... There are exception to the rule though.. maturity, self independence, things like that are taken into the decision. I have many friends that are much younger than 45 and I have no problems... they're friends... I would never approach someone under 45 except for friendship. I have found that it's best that if you're looking for someone, sometimes it's best to just to stand still and see if they can find you...

Age is just a number it is how you feel on the inside and the outside

You're doing what I was doing yesterday. going to every post to pick a good one with slither. In retrospect it doesnt make sense, just causes turmoil.

So insead of doing that tell me about your time in LA working in LAPD, and why you moved east.

I had met Commissioner Bratton in NYC. He had just left a restaurant/bar called Elaines on the upper eat side. This was before he before he went out to LA and Fixed their PD. He did a great job in NYC implementing the computerized system his predicessor had created. I thanked him for the reversal in crime stats in NYC. Then he went to LA and did the same thing there. Everywhere the guy went crime went down at an incredible rate. But I also give the credit to changes in society and the upward swing of prosperity at that time. Folks became for civil, not much but some.

the reason I went To RI that my mom passed away in 2007 and my sister decided for me to come and live in RI.

So do you work in RI or are you retired?

yes I work for a printing company here in RI

what do you do there?

i will be honest and tell you why i personally worry when a man tells me he is in his late 40s or higher ... this is brutally honest ... a lot of men in this age bracket have trouble with getting or maintaining an erection. I would like to have a relationship with a man of this age group ... but relationships also include a sexual relationship and it is not fun for the woman if her man has ED (erectile dysfunction). I am not suggesting that you suffer from this and i am not suggesting all men over 45 suffer with ED. But from my own experience and from talking to other women my age group it seems to be a pretty common experience.

i wonder if ED is so endemic because of all the crap they put into our food these days.

ED is widespread but i doubt if it is any worse than it ever was. we just are more open speaking about it.
many of the guys (including my now hubby) that i dated had ed. but most were smart enough to go to the doc and get some help. it does take a little of the spontaniety out of things if a guy doesn't plan ahead a little. luckily my guy knows how to read me very well. :)

yes perhaps you are right NightOwl. We are more open these days about talking about sex.