How much time do you think two people should invest from the time they have first met till the time they can actually consider themselves worthy of one another?

The term "invest" indicates there should be some sort of pay out somewhere down the road. Personally I will take as much time as it requires to get to know a person well enough to decide whether I want to accept them for who they are, or move along.

In my opinion, there is no "set" length of time. People get to know one another at different rates of time. Depends on the people, how often they see and/or communicate with one another, etc., etc..

I strongly suggest using the Live Chat feature.

We've all heard the expression, "Two's company, three's a crowd", so make a private chat room and share the password with your secret admirer.

Both of you turn on your web cams and teleconference your first (web)date.

This is the easiest way to see if you two can at least carry a meaningful conversation.

normally i will date a man three times. if at the end of that time i am not feeling a few butterflies, i will usually move along.

Mental note ... "first date with Nighthowl, sneak some butterflies into her underwear drawer"

You can invest a lifetime into getting to know someone and never REALLY know them.

You can invest a lifetime into getting to know someone and never REALLY know them.

I agree . Some people don't want to let people know them.
Sometimes you think you know someone and it turns out they were not who you thought they were and not anything like what they tried to make you think they were.

sweetie...you are already past that stage with me.

I love it when you talk suggestive!

*fluttering eyelashes* we wouldn't want those poor butterflies to get all damp, would we?

"Damp" is more than acceptable in some areas ......

I dated a man for eight years that I loved dearly. I couldn't understand why he wasn't asking me to marry him. Each Christmas or holiday I prayed it would happen but, it didn't. My daughter and I joke about the clock on the wall he gave me the last Christmas we were together. It is my engagement ring. I'm 57 years old. I wonder if it is the only one I will ever get. I haven't dated that man for around four years. I think about him, still treasure memories but, it wasn't meant to be. The answer to your question is if it is meant to be it will happen. If not, you will know what to do to end it.

WOW..I hope I look as good as you when I'm 57! What's your secret?

Just had to say> maybe it's because you haven't been married? LMAO (J/K)


;)

I won't tell you the details of my whole life but, I was married for 19 years to my first husband. The happiest memories of my life. I have four children. The last child I am raising alone was to a second husband. I always loved being married. These last fifteen years of single life have sucked. I've been to the bars, at the beaches, in the grocery stores and met the men. There just hasn't been any relationships that have worked. They always leave me. I find myself feeling ugly, thinking I've done something wrong. It takes a long time to get well and begin again. I haven't had anyone steady within the past three years. I meet men but, they take me out to eat and move on. It seems they are looking for something else. During periods of sadness I loose myself in my work. I teach school there are always needs there more important than my own. I find myself teaching Summer school and staying over to prepare materials. Working on bulletin boards, making learning centers, etc. occupies empty moments of time. I have many holidays off and Summers. I hear my friends talk about their husbands, teachers usually have husbands. I envy them. I'd give anything if this special man would walk into my life but, I don't want somebody I have to support. I have worked hard enough. I'm looking for a man who will love me in every way. I do love someone I have met on line but, it is all just a dream. You can't make things happen, I have always felt if it is meant to be it will happen. I just hope I'm not 80 years old when that person walks in. I do want time to share some life with this person. Aging for women can be sad because men are looking at the body. Men my age are looking at 30 year olds. I guess they feel young with them. But, the thing they forget is growing old in love can be a beautiful thing. I never wanted to be alone in these years. I may look young outside but, inside I feel old.

I know exactly what you mean on everything you are saying. I can totally relate to this. It sounds so similar to my life. Sometimes I feel like I will never have a true sense of normalcy. Since I am not involved with anyone. And I have no other relatives around me. All I have is my kids and my responsibilities. I hope that I will meet someone before I am too old too! The people I associate with have what I never had or what I used to have.
So when they discuss. Their husbands... I cannot totally relate. When they have their family reunions they Invite me and I am grateful. They treat me like I am one of their relatives.Knowing full well that I never get to have any reunions anymore with mine.Or until My kids get older, Married and everything that follows.
If I ever meet someone that would be my forever,I have to admit that the most important thing would be that person, but also would look forward to being a part of a large family again.or semi-large.
I don't feel so old but I feel like old is knocking at my door and the facial creams aren't always going to keep me feeling young when I look in the mirror. LOL Have to have a sense of humor. Just can't live with out it!

I guess I just have to tell this one. I'm so totally crazy over someone I met on this site. The thing is everyone is busy and everyone is far away. I should be more positive. I thought it was a dream when he told me he was coming to meet me. I wouldn't allow myself to believe it until the day before it was time for him to come and I talked to him and he told me what time to expect him. Anyway, I ran for the hair dye, bought new clothes, cleaned house. You know all the things that kill time and make you feel like you are ready. The only thing I couldn't do was get the plastic surgery or all the tucks in the right place to make this 57 year old body look younger. It is a worry. I try to tell myself it doesn't matter if he doesn't like me but, it does matter. I use every psychological means of reasoning to talk myself out of feeling anything until I'm sure the other person feels and in this case he is younger. God, he has seen me on cam. How can I do this to myself but, I do. Anyway it is finally time for him to come. I have combed my hair a million times. I've put so much perfume on that everything smells like perfume even the rugs. There is not a lick of hair on my legs or under my arms. I'm going crazy. He doesn't come. It is an hour later. He doesn't come. I try to find his phone number. I can't find it. I have been waiting all night. He doesn't show. I'm looking out every window in my house. The folks in this small town think I'm senile or something. Now, I'm watching out the windows for excitement. Isn't that what old people do? Yikes, he never does show. Depression sets in. I can't begin to tell you what goes through my mind. Yet, I know better. This is a special man, not just any man. He would have told me the truth if he wasn't coming. I have waited all day and it is after midnight. I think it is safe to go to bed.
In the morning I wake up, same sick feeling. His pics are under my pillow. Where is he? All day nothing. Into the afternoon I receive an IM from a friend of his. He was in a wreck on his way to me. God I'm going crazy! I can't get to him. The hospital is 5 hours away and I have to work in the morning. I go to teach school but, can't concentrate on anything else. I've never met him except online. I tell my school kids and they all write letters to him. I knew I had to get back on here and tell you guys. He is out of the hospital, still hurting. I've still never met him but, one of these days this dream will come true and when it does I will share it all with you. I just wanted to be more positive cause somehow I think I should not have said; "I will never meet him." I'm still looking forward to smiling at him in person the way I smile at him online over the cam. Ummmm, never want to loose this special man! Lynn



( I did want to add. We have been talking on and off for over a year.)

oh my...that is heart wrenching. your time will come though. hang in there.

oh my...that is heart wrenching.  your time will come though.  hang in there.

That is definitely a a special unique situation. Try to be patient. Don't you worry about what he thinks either. cause he already doesn't have a problem. you do already know this, but sometimes it's nice to here the reinforcement from others.Take care and be Cool!

I used to think that online relationships were not possible or a healthy way to meet someone. I do not believe that now. Lynn, I hope that your special friend gets better and you two can be together soon. I have met someone on this website just a few days after I joined. We talk everyday for hours and video cam. We share photos on Yahoo and there hasn't been a moment since we started talking that I don't think that maybe he is the one..gentle and caring. Online dating I believe can work and long distance relationships can work if the goal is to someday be together. I am thinking that way already. Time will tell but I think if both parties are putting the time into getting to know each other, then the relationship can only get stronger when they can be in the same room, sharing moments and laughter.