if she / he is really good in bed, why on earth would you wander?

Well I personally wouldn't. However sex isn't everything, some of us require more than just a good fuck.

well my ex wasnt good in bed at all...he had ummm whatcha call it ed?? lol but that never bothered me he satisfied me as far as making me feel loved...of course until he threw me out lol anyway when a mate wanders its rarely because they arent getting sex but maybe not getting the attention they need...i agree sex isnt everything

well sex isnt evry things my ex gf she was from usa and she was always camed to me evry 6 month she was married and she hide that on me that mean she lied and she wasnt love me as she said , love is important things we was make love 7 times evry night and she was said that am not normal sex not evry things believe me

sex is VERY important in a relationship but it is NOT the only thing that is important! if you don't have more in common with your partner besides sex then ya don't belong together....as far as one wandering outside the marriage or relationship,I am totally against cheaters and have no respect for them! i feel one O's the other the respect of divorcing or leaving the relationship before journeying outside the realonship! maybe that is your problem in your relationship and she has chosen to wander off!because you feel as long as that is being given she should be happy? regardless what the proublem is she o's you the respect of getting out of the realonship befor stepping into another!

I agree that sex isn't everything and is an important part of a relationship. When I worked in the health club industry I had people confide more stuff in my than I'd ever want to know and learned a lot about the climate of modern relationships.

A lot of people have "open" relationships and the sex is great with their partner but they have a higher sex drive and their partner actually gives them the go-ahead to find another partner on the side. Sometimes they want to know about it, other times they don't. There are a lot of people in my area who are swingers and just love sex.

Some people got married too young or are young and once they discover the greatness of sex ( even have awesome sex lives with their partners ) cheat because they wonder what else it out there or sometimes feel that they don't deserve their partner... As with everything in relationships things are complicated and there never is one answer to explain why people do certain things:P

I understand why people wander even though I myself am monogamous.

be assured none of mine ever had to wander.i was just interested in what yall thought. nothing more. i too believe it takes MORE than sex,it takes open commuication, sharing what u dream do-don't like being interested to a point in your partners job so u can relate some,most important LISTENING to your mate.JMO

...I have a question...What if everything,(communication,open ess,trust,etc..(EVERYTHING!),I S fine, EXCEPT sex???

Well then you attempt to fix it and if that doesn't happen, you either stay married with someone on the side who can fix those needs, or you get divorced.


I vote for divorce but too many people have excuses as to why they can't/won't.

What if your not married to them? I mean,everything about the relationship is good,but the sex isnt..I know sex isnt everything(I mean we ALL do,I have read that a million times in these threads)BUT,sex does count for something and I want to know should you leave someone thats GREAT,becuase the sex doesnt satisfy you? Or just stay with them and do without?

I don't think there is such a thing as bad sex. You are only as good as you partner. My wife and I love each other very much, but there is next to no sex for the past 6 years and we will never part. So now I am looking to have an affair with just one lady. You might think about doing the same.

And this is what happens kajun. If there's hardly any sexin the relationship one or the other will find someone else to fulfill that need without actually leaving who they're with.


Apparently cheating is better.....

How can it be called cheating if your not geting any at home?

You've GOT to be kidding me.


Having sex with someone else when you're married or even in a relationship is called CHEATING.

DUDE, you may be 70 years old, Hugh Hephner you're NOT! I'm sure you aren't getting any at home because, geeze, after however many years a woman tolerated you, I wouldn't want to give it up to you either! Get out the lotion, you've got two hands, use them. It sickens me your thinking that just because you aren't getting any at home, you can get it somewhere else and not see that as screwing around on your wife. Put the shoes on the other feet, how about she wants to get herself a lil sumfin sumfin on the side since you weren't putting out? How would you feel about THAT?

What is it called when your currently dating and playing on this site, afraid to show your face?

Dating is not a relationship, it's dating, if posting in forums is cheating I'm a complete whore, and I'm not afraid to show my face, you're just not important enought to see it.



Face it old man, you're just a prick and no one will condone you cheating on your wife.

Cheating is cheating. If your married and not getting what you need then you leave then you A)Try to fix it B)Leave if it is unfixable. To just go and cheat is a cheap cop out to do whatever strikes your fancy and justify your actions later. I have been in a marriage were my ex cheated and there is nothing more painful and I would never wish that on anyone. To me cheaters always have some half baked excuse to justify what is 99% of the time some ridiculous need to have constant love and affection showered upon them to make up for their own lack of self respect. I will openly admit that I biased here were this is concerned but if your really that unhappy in the relationship that you need to go outside of it, deal with that first and then move on to find what you need.

Cheating is cheating. If your married and not getting what you need then you leave then you A)Try to fix it B)Leave if it is unfixable. To just go and cheat is a cheap cop out to do whatever strikes your fancy and justify your actions later. I have been in a marriage were my ex cheated and there is nothing more painful and I would never wish that on anyone. To me cheaters always have some half baked excuse to justify what is 99% of the time some ridiculous need to have constant love and affection showered upon them to make up for their own lack of self respect. I will openly admit that I biased here were this is concerned but if your really that unhappy in the relationship that you need to go outside of it, deal with that first and then move on to find what you need.

There is no justification for cheating....simple.......
< br>As for the original question about if he/she is good in bed why leave? There is more to a relationship than sex (or so you hope). Makeup sex is awesome, so you have to fight occassionally just to have it..winks.. but isn't there a stronger base to the relationship, before you even consider having sex with your partner? If it's great, then that to me is icing on the cake. When it's not so great, you have to decide if it's fixable by communicating what you like and don't like/expect from a partner.

You should not do without for sure. That having been said I am a firm believer that if two people communicate then improvements can be made if you get what I mean. From a male perspective I can say that every woman is different in what they like or want from a male partner so if a guy is not getting it right then sometimes just telling them to do this or that will get them on the right track.

Hopefully if your partner is really interested in making sure you get the same satisfaction from the experience that they are getting, they will not be offended and things will improve. I think it is difficult at times for both men and women to express what makes them tick sexually, we feel guilty about for some reason, but when two people are able to communicate those needs WOW is all I can say.

That was good advice,thank you...and I am not the cheating type.I would rather do with out if I was married and not satisfied.There are other ways to get off besides degrading someone that gets out and works and provides for me.The least I could do was stay faithful.And I expect that too.

You should not do without for sure. That having been said I am a firm believer that if two people communicate then improvements can be made if you get what I mean. From a male perspective I can say that every woman is different in what they like or want from a male partner so if a guy is not getting it right then sometimes just telling them to do this or that will get them on the right track. Hopefully if your partner is really interested in making sure you get the same satisfaction from the experience that they are getting, they will not be offended and things will improve. I think it is difficult at times for both men and women to express what makes them tick sexually, we feel guilty about for some reason, but when two people are able to communicate those needs WOW is all I can say. 

For what it's worth Steve in parksville ... GREAT ADVICE!

What if you've tried communicating to your partner and they still don't respond welll, do you stay?

I think that would be up to the two people involved. If the relationship can survive for both people without a satisfying sexual component, then, in my opinion I think they should stay together. Why throw away love if you don't have to?

I guess you have a point.Love IS hard to find,but sometimes I wonder if it is NOT love,because one would think that sex would be awesome,lol...Maybe some people just dont know what to do in bed.(?)

I think that would be up to the two people involved. If the relationship can survive for both people without a satisfying sexual component, then, in my opinion I think they should stay together. Why throw away love if you don't have to?