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diehardtraveller

Joined: 9/7/2008

Am i wrong in being upset when someone I have just started talking to (once or twice) says hello or goodbye calling me- sexy, baby, honey, or similar terms. Am i being rude in putting in my profile- "Not looking for "fun" or one night stands. If that's what you're into, save us both some time" I know what I want- but think that sometimes, some men don't want to hear it- or don't believe that some of us really do want an honest relationship, and not just someone for not much more than sex. Yes I like it- but to me it comes with a bond in a relationship, not just something to do to spend an evening. Please be honest guys-I'd really like to know.

Posts: 2

Posted 9 years ago
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teggler

Joined: 7/9/2008

It's a fail safe for many men. The "honey- baby" catch probably means he's nervous and trying to sound like a little more smooth than he's feeling.
Men do lean on those terms, sometimes they have no clue how bad they sound when they say these things. I didn't for years as I used pet nicknames. i ended up sounding like a diner waitress...
chances are it's a simple, under-developed attempt at becoming familiar with you.

the other option is the one you are fearing. but you need to be able to tell whats going on.


Posts: 18

Posted 9 years ago
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JoyceIsIn

Joined: 9/10/2003

I LIKE the honey baby sweetie terms.. and I use them ALOT... especially when I am trying to remember their NAME... Faces I can recognize.. but names... not so much.. so baby sweetie is merely SOMETHING to call you.. I am sure it is NOT mean to be derogitory in nature (otherwise it would be slut or whore, lol).. so take it easy on the guys.. your other option is ASK them to tell you what YOUR name is.. see if that is it..
Hope this helps,
J

Posts: 99

Posted 9 years ago
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TimNP61278

Joined: 10/12/2004

I agree with joyceisin... most of the time, when people first start meeting and talking to each other, names will usually start off a lil difficult, and perhaps the guy will go with something simple to help memorize the name with the face, in order to remember the name, like a gesture, or what-have-you's.

If given plenty of time, between meeting as friends, the mind can associate the name and the face with memories of prior events... regardless if they are good or bad. It takes time for names to actually sink in for some, so give it some time and patience, and make sure that you interact with your someone, and they will begin to really remember your name.

If they continue to call you pet names and you feel uncomfortable, let them know ahead of time, & tell them what your name is. At least until you are comfortable with calling them baby or sweetie, etc. back.

And as for "NOT LOOKING FOR 'ONE NIGHT STANDS'" issue... I feel your struggle with that experience. I often feel that sex can be enjoyed at any time, but it is much for a fun experience to get to know the person in general before hopping in the bed with them. Knowing what makes them tick, laugh, cry, cringe and all the other things that every human being does... is what makes the relationship much more of a experience of emotion, that brings it towards the finale of what is to come in the bedroom scene...

Besides, I think a lot of immature guys out there just have sex on the brain too much, and don't understand that being with someone isn't and shouldn't be just a one time thing. Only one timers miss out on the best adventure yet, finding out what true love really is.

Hopefully this will bring you some insight and let you know that you aren't wrong for feeling the way you do! Take Care and merry Christmas/happy new years!

TiM

Posts: 6

Posted 9 years ago
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ptercar96

Joined: 12/12/2008

if your from the south it's kinda like y mam or n mam it's as natural as peeing or the finger trick. atleast it is for me.that is the way i talk cutie.or sweetie-no baby dolls those are special lol.......

Posts: 77

Posted 9 years ago
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ptercar96

Joined: 12/12/2008

if your from the south it's kinda like y mam or n mam it's as natural as peeing or the finger trick. atleast it is for me.that is the way i talk cutie.or sweetie-no baby dolls those are special lol.......

Posts: 77

Posted 9 years ago
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love4nature84

Joined: 12/19/2008

Hold strong to what you believe in, you are not wrong for feeling what you feel in this situation. In my opinion some guys use those terms of "endearment"(haha) to feel closer to women. Pet names are often used too soon when meeting someone because some guys think it makes a woman feel "special" to him. And there is nothing wrong with posting EXACTLY what you want to find on this site in your profile. If a guy can't handle the fact that there is a mature woman looking for a wholesome relationship, all the signs are right there on your profile. Hopefully it does detour a few of the jerks out there...:-) Keep on Keepin on, you sound like you know what you want, and all you can do in the dating world is find that one person who in the best interest of yourself!

Good Luck! Love4nature84

Posts: 76

Posted 9 years ago
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Blakwulf

Joined: 12/28/2008

No doubt. Be yourself. Somebody out there might actually like you. :)

Posts: 233

Posted 9 years ago
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morningperson

Joined: 6/29/2004

I say honey, babe, or sexy all the time when talking. I mean it as a compliment, meaning you're a attractive woman. No disrespect intended. As for the not looking for fun or a one night stand in the profile. It may turn people away, but I personally will talk to most anyone. see were things go from that point.

Posts: 212

Posted 9 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

I'm not a fan of the "Honey, Sweetie, Baby" bullshit from random strangers. People who know me can call me anything they want.

Posts: 24442

Posted 9 years ago
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Blakwulf

Joined: 12/28/2008

 Am i wrong in being upset when someone I have just started talking to (once or twice) says hello or goodbye calling me- sexy, baby, honey, or similar terms. 
As long as you want honest reactions, imho there's no problem telling anybody how you feel in return. That being said, TELL them, so there are no unnecessary hard-feelings OR expectations of similar affections from you.

I'll use those terms on occasion if I want to make it very clear that I am attracted/interested- just in case the girl failed to notice. *shrug*

Posts: 233

Posted 9 years ago
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hoagsie

Joined: 1/15/2009

Here recently I agreed to go on a date with a girl I knew and I haven't known her for very long, just a couple months actually. As soon as I agreed to go on a date with her she started with the baby/darling stuff. It was kind of nice, but it was rather creepy as well. So, I think it works both ways. I agree with the notion that it is well received from someone you both have known for a long time and have a good relationship with first before you start with the pet names.

Posts: 89

Posted 9 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

To the original poster- No not at all it's good you want a serious loving relationship. As far as the sexy, baby ,etc. nicknames some guy's just have that habit...it may or may not be an issue. I think most guy's on here would like to find true love but are more willing to settle for the cyber sex then women are.

I know personally I've lost most all hope I have of meeting anyone special on here to share my life with. At the the end of the day it seems all's you find on webdate are friends or friends with benefits. Most everyone else on here seems to want a fantasy of a perfect body, deep pockets, expensive car, etc. Nobody even really knows what love is anymore.

Your an attractive lady and seem nice so if nothing else you have the benefit of people actually wanting to talk to you....it may not be be what you really want and certainly never do anything you don't want to do but at least you have options.......hopefully you can sort through the frogs and get your prince

Another thing I'll throw out there and this is not something directed at you but rather all women.....give a nice guy a chance....even if they might be a little on the fugly side (cough..me), A tad outside the box (cough...me) and shy as hell around women (cough me)....were not heart breakers And we tend to love, cherish, and appreciate our girl friends more. Just a thought take a chance on someone different.

Posts: 130

Posted 9 years ago
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shagy

Joined: 12/15/2003

im not to sure about women but most men are playin around .. i havent found to many serious, but have found plenty sayin they are till they disappear.. or moved on to there next serious relationship rite before ur eyes..relationships are hard enuff in person but on net they are near to impossible. with the experiences i have had on here if someone was serious, id have a hard time trustin or believin em as so many men say the same thing.. i dont know how many times ive heard "im not like that"".. lol, so sorry to the guys that are serious on here its hard to believe when so many are lookin to have cam sex, married or involved lookin for something there missing in there lives or just have a wonderin eye.. but, for me, ive turned this into just gonna have a goodtime with chattin with friends and flirting around. cuz i do not believe its gonna be easy finding him on here. so im havin fun for now, and hope when and if he does show up in my life i will know somehow.. now that will be the difficult part.. lol .

Posts: 2

Posted 9 years ago
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