I agree with joyceisin... most of the time, when people first start meeting and talking to each other, names will usually start off a lil difficult, and perhaps the guy will go with something simple to help memorize the name with the face, in order to remember the name, like a gesture, or what-have-you's.
If given plenty of time, between meeting as friends, the mind can associate the name and the face with memories of prior events... regardless if they are good or bad. It takes time for names to actually sink in for some, so give it some time and patience, and make sure that you interact with your someone, and they will begin to really remember your name.
If they continue to call you pet names and you feel uncomfortable, let them know ahead of time, & tell them what your name is. At least until you are comfortable with calling them baby or sweetie, etc. back.
And as for "NOT LOOKING FOR 'ONE NIGHT STANDS'" issue... I feel your struggle with that experience. I often feel that sex can be enjoyed at any time, but it is much for a fun experience to get to know the person in general before hopping in the bed with them. Knowing what makes them tick, laugh, cry, cringe and all the other things that every human being does... is what makes the relationship much more of a experience of emotion, that brings it towards the finale of what is to come in the bedroom scene...
Besides, I think a lot of immature guys out there just have sex on the brain too much, and don't understand that being with someone isn't and shouldn't be just a one time thing. Only one timers miss out on the best adventure yet, finding out what true love really is.
Hopefully this will bring you some insight and let you know that you aren't wrong for feeling the way you do! Take Care and merry Christmas/happy new years!
TiM