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Sw3d3dream

Joined: 4/29/2012

OK long story so here goes, I was with someone for 8 years, we had a great relationship, I wanted to get married but he is one of those guys that doesn't believe in marriage. He was always faithful during the entire time and so was I to him. Toward the very end, we had some conflict mainly due to his daughter (I have no children) and the marriage thing. We had an argument and broke up nine months ago. within about three months, he was seeing someone else, someone he has known as a friend since before me. When he left, he only took two bags of clothes with him and his TV and home theater. Everything else is still here, which is quite a bit. Now, this is the tricky part! Although we are no longer together, he continues to visit me and we have continued to have sex during the entire time we have been separated. Lately in the past month or two, his visits, calls and text messages to me have increased and became more passionate.

Questions: 1) I think if he is still dating the other girl things can't be all that serious if he is still coming to see me, right? 2) I am still hopeful that we will get back together again. Do any of you think it's possible we might get back together again? Has this situation ever happened to you or anyone else you know? Please keep in mind we had a very close 8 year relationship prior to breaking up and I have not confirmed how close he is to the girl he is dating. He still pays the phone bill and I see the text messages between them. when I confronted him he admitted they are dating. However, I am also dating but I would rather get back together with my ex!

If any of you have good advice, please do tell! Thanks in advance!

Posts: 2

Posted 6 years ago
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CCnOhio

Joined: 2/2/2012

He's obviously not that serious. He didn't want to get married and when the issue was pressed, he split. Now he sees he can come back over for a "hookup" when he wants and he believes the marriage issue is dead. As long as he has you for a regular hookup, and another girl for the same thing, with no worries of seriousness, he's content. I bet if you pressed the marraige thing agin, he'd split again. And if he suddenly comes over one day and says him & the other woman are through, maybe it'll be because SHE pressed the marraige idea on him. He obviously likes you, maybe even love in his own way, but he enjoys the sex without the pressure of ever having to committ for life to one person. Maybe I'm wrong, but I am a straight dude, & I think I'm right.

Posts: 3

Posted 6 years ago
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Starinthesky28

Joined: 11/19/2011

He thinks he's got it made and in way he does. You want to get married, he doesn't. He's seeing you and her so he's getting what he wants, with no incentive to commit. Quite the opposite actually. You're on the losing end in this situation. You deserve to be with someone who wants the same things as you and this guy doesn't. Eight years is a long time but he's not interesting in making you happy. I'd cut him off and tell him what's what.

Posts: 25

Posted 6 years ago
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JimMiller

Joined: 11/25/2011

Reply to: He thinks he's got it made and in way he does. You want to get married, he does...
Starinthesky28, you make good sense and I appreciate how you say it.

Posts: 1361

Posted 6 years ago
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Hetero_errectus

Joined: 2/16/2009

First of all, you are thinking too much about what is happening on his side, this is also your relationship so you should take ropes in your hands. Ask yourself if you are happy with this open loose togetherness that you two have at the moment. I assume you are not cuz you're sounding confused. You should write down what you want with this guy, make up your mind about it and draw your line for yourself first. Then you should sit with him, talk and see how much of those he is willing to give and how much he can. As a result, as you are not happy with present situation either, whether working on this relationship together, or ending it totally will come out and you should stick to that. Asking people about how serious he might be with other girl, is just a last hope you are trying to create, but what you need is to ask and hear from him because that is what really matters and what is really happening out there.

Posts: 12

Posted 6 years ago
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Sw3d3dream

Joined: 4/29/2012

I truly appreciate everything posted from each of you. It all makes so much sense. If anyone else has any other comments that are helpful and constructive, please continue! It's very helpful...thanks!

Posts: 2

Posted 6 years ago
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thenewguy25

Joined: 3/15/2004

If he loves you he will drop her to be with you completely-he seems to want to mingle abit -tough to say maybe he will realize what he is missing & come back-don't ever pause your life for any1-c

Posts: 189

Posted 6 years ago
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clouds9mine

Joined: 3/24/2012

Please do yourself a favor; be with someone who is willing to commit. You sound like a really nice person, you deserve better.

Posts: 2

Posted 6 years ago
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