Home > Forum > Ask a Guy > How do I let a guy know I am not interested?
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katiegirl

Joined: 9/23/2008

I have lots of emails from guys, most whom I am not attracted to. This is a question for the guys, if you were to email me and I did not find you attractive in anyway and didnt wish to make any further contact, is it best I tell you straight.. or pretend I hadnt noticed your email in the first place. I have recieved abusive mail from men if I let them know I am not interested in them. (of course I do this as gentle as possible!)

Posts: 3

Posted 6 years ago
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seriousintent

Joined: 5/5/2007

You should still tell them, but just tell them your not interested. Don't have to say why. If they want to know then perhaps tell them that your not interested at this time or something.

Posts: 1

Posted 6 years ago
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nighthowl50

Joined: 9/28/2005

I can relate to what you are saying. I have had some men get very abusive if I have said I am not interested. I think every mail deserves an answer even if it is not the one you want to hear.

Posts: 4912

Posted 6 years ago
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FunBoyScotty

Joined: 11/17/2008

there's no good way to tell a guy that you don't like them "that way", but the longer that you string him along, the harder it will be on both parties. you just have to be straight up and be understanding when the guy feels rejected. as for abuse, nothing warrants that, so get away from any type of situation like that.

Posts: 3

Posted 6 years ago
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cutebutohoh

Joined: 10/13/2007

If i dont like him and he buys me gifts who cares i smile if he don't spoiles me well fuck off then. If have to spend time cuz some sukka blows my phone up and wants to spend time or money on me and i'm only nice when i get some chezzzzz wut a LOSER .

Posts: 15

Posted 6 years ago
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Steven123

Joined: 7/19/2008

If its a simple case of some random guy emaling you then there's no reason to explain yourself to him on why your not attracted. If your seeing someone then you should be upfront with him. Its simple way of life. I've been ignored and I've ignored. If you dont have any real relation w/ him then no need to stress about it....

Posts: 57

Posted 6 years ago
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Tonyaka

Joined: 11/14/2008

First and foremost guys and dolls must learn to stop trying to be players cause it always ends up in somebody getting hurt physically or emotionally.

And U should always keep it 100 with ALL members of the opposite sex. WOMEN THAT THINKL THEY ALL THAT AND TRY TO PLAY A GUY BEWARE CAUSE WHAT YOU DISH OUT YOU MIGHT CAN NOT TAKE THE RETURN

Posts: 4

Posted 6 years ago
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Ave

Joined: 7/15/2008

( Aside from being super CUTE Steven123 has a good point) Dont stress about it. Be polite but also honest. It's not being shallow but being true to yourself if the guy who is emailing you is not your "type".

Posts: 1

Posted 6 years ago
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The Chino

Joined: 8/26/2005

Never sugarcoat things. If he's not the kind of guy that you go for and would not want to see him again, then just be straight-forward and tell him like it is. Nothing pisses someone off more than to string it along until you reach your boiling point. Let him know right off the bat that you're not interested and you would rather not have him call you again. End of story.

Posts: 4750

Posted 6 years ago
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A little less t...

Joined: 8/25/2008

IF YOUR NOT INTERESTED IN A PERSON, THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS TO BE TRUTHFUL WITH THEM, IT IS BETTER TO DISAPPOINT OR HURT ONE WITH THE TRUTH THEN A LIE OR MISLEAD THEM!...AFTER ALL, I AM SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MISLEAD OR LIED TO! WOULDN'T THAT BE PLAYING WITH ONES HEART N MIND???.HOW EVER, IF YOU JUST BASE YOUR INTEREST IN A PERSON BYE THERE LOOK'S I PITY YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!! SECONDLY YOU COULD BE PASSING UP A GOOD FRIEND.
HEY I'M JUST SAYING!!!!

Posts: 321

Posted 6 years ago
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nice_guy_4_u

Joined: 9/11/2008

if you don't like him tell him right off back that's the best way don't beat around the bush that's the best way cause you don't want to lead him on so just come out with i don't like you the way you like me but we can be friends or we can be cool an leave it at that

Posts: 20

Posted 6 years ago
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wwcooke

Joined: 10/5/2004

lol, the smart ones understand you're not interested in them when you don't reply. The abusive ones are the ones you don't want anyway...so nothing lost.

Posts: 5

Posted 6 years ago
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murphyr7

Joined: 11/19/2008

Just say "thanks, but no thanks". If the guy can not take that well he is a wimp.

Posts: 10

Posted 6 years ago
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dfury90

Joined: 11/11/2008

Reply to: Just say "thanks, but no thanks". If the guy can not take that well he is a w...
Definitely just tell them,nothing wrong with being honest and it removes any confusion.

Posts: 23

Posted 6 years ago
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OneCoolDude1971

Joined: 10/31/2008

Yes i would have to agree with the rest of them. Just be up front and Hoest and Open with them. And explain to them that you are not Interested at this time in them. And if you think that you may change your mind later on down the road jet them know that to. And espically let them know if you already have a Boyfrined or espically Husband who you are totaly decidated to. Because that will saving them and your marriage and whatever else there is. In the Process.

Posts: 2

Posted 6 years ago
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notreally

Joined: 4/15/2005

I find a knee to the groin works in person . On here I just say I dont think Im what your looking for But thank you for your note.

Posts: 996

Posted 6 years ago
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Bizz

Joined: 10/21/2008

I prefer to be lead on for a few weeks and then viciously dumped...

Posts: 1

Posted 6 years ago
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notreally

Joined: 4/15/2005

Reply to: I prefer to be lead on for a few weeks and then viciously dumped...
LOL Nice view of things Bizz

Posts: 996

Posted 6 years ago
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tenx9

Joined: 2/19/2004

usually thats how it seems to us. women are non-confrontational and think saying nice things is better. WRONG!!! Just say "sorry, I'm not interested". DON'T SAY, "you seem like a nice guy, but now is not a good time, because my mother is sick right now, and my dog got hit by a car, and its tuff sending little timmy to school. But, really its me and any other time would be great." WRONG WRONG WRONG

Posts: 5

Posted 6 years ago
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Maryhowcouldugo

Joined: 11/2/2008

**This Post's rating is below the threshold. View Post

Posts: 44

Posted 6 years ago
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loyal805

Joined: 6/15/2004

I ignore him and he eventually goes away. 
Not cool...

Just say Thanks, but no thanks..

No matter what we should at least try to show some respect to each other...

Posts: 7

Posted 6 years ago
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DreamLoverNYC

Joined: 10/1/2004

Some females on the internet do some really "DUMB" things sometime. DONT YOU KNOW that when you try to ignore a guy it only makes things worse?? Stop it in its tracks if you are not feeling him. Only a foolish person will ignore things, because it can only get worse if they come back. THINK. Goodness.

Just say that You are "looking for something else and not feeling it, but thanks anyway."

Posts: 92

Posted 6 years ago
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XStarrX

Joined: 10/4/2005

Reply to: Some females on the internet do some really "DUMB" things sometime. DONT YOU KN...
Honesty is the best policy! And if they get weird about it, then obviously it's THEIR problem, NOT yours...

Posts: 13

Posted 6 years ago
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XStarrX

Joined: 10/4/2005

Reply to: Honesty is the best policy! And if they get weird about it, then obviously it'...
Andddd I agree with Loyal. Respect is key.

Posts: 13

Posted 6 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Reply to: I don't let him know...I ignore him and he eventually goes away.
I do the same thing.

It's Webdate, it's not like these guys are meeting us in person and are trying to get our attention so ignoring someone you're not interested in at all is better than telling them you're not interested and then getting "You're a fat ugly whore" as a response.

Posts: 24442

Posted 6 years ago
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