This is embarrassing, so please be kind and try to give me an honest answer, it's an incredibly frustrating issue for me, and I am considering surgery, even though I view it as mutilating.

I have recently come to a sad realization, and I hope I am wrong.
It appears that I attract a tremendous amount of "breast" men, but my purpose to them seems to be strictly sexual.

So Men, When it comes to breasts, do you view the women who are very endowed as simply tools for your sexual pleasures?

Is there a certain level of stigma when it comes to actually dating a woman like this?

Does she look ridiculous to you and are you embarrassed to be seen with her or maybe afraid others will stare at her and you, but you want to experience her to fulfill some fantasy of having had a woman with big breasts? Would you rather her be your dirty little secret you would prefer not to admit being attracted to?

Does porn have anything to do with this?

Do aesthetics matter that much to you, that you forget about the human being attached to the fat bags you want to simply play with and then discard? (this is not meant to be attacking anyone, just don't know how to word this better).

I am sure I may have plenty of other flaws, and I tend to be self-deprecating when it comes to my cartoonish appearance, but will I always be overshadowed by the size of the girls?

Bottom line, is it possible I will never be viewed as the girl one might date because the only thought that comes to mind when I am around is solely of a sexual nature?
If it matters, I am 47-37-47 and wear 36J and 38HHH bras.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Addendum: I appreciate the ladies replying to this post, but I really would like more men to respond. It would help me tremendously. Thanks!!

Every guy in the world is a *breast * man,

Girl im gona be honest with u yeah, You are not the only female in the world that guys want to have sex with, Guys would fuck anything that have legs. Guys fuck men in jail. even though they are not gay. So even if you chop your tits of, guys are stil going to want to have sex with you, boobless .

Well one thing with my ex yea her boobs was so big. And whenever i would walk with her, men would stare at her because of her boobs, and sometimes she would delibratly make them jiggle more so she would get more attention.

End of the day, if you chop your tits off, you will still have the same problem

not to be rude but your a big girl and compared to your ass it all seemed to match..what are you exspecting from this site its free hello you can read there you got the attion hope it was eough, now take what god gave up and don't bitch but embrase it ya..thats it..g-spots right too:} you still got something down below..lol

^^shiiiiiiiit your spelling is more fucked then mine

i know i suck but you still makeing it out..i am trying to work on it..it's early too..lol..

be careful cuz just that statement alone you going to open anthere can of worms boy watch and see.

You need a dicktionairy

lmao..so do you:}

This site provides spell check, as you compose your message. When a word has a squiggly red line under it that means it's misspelled and all you have to do is right click onto the word and the correct spelling will appear above it... As for the lady with the insecurity about her top heavy condition, well, if you're uncomfortable with large breasts, like Soleil Moon Frye, the girl who played Punky Brewster on the TV show back in the 1980's, then have breast reduction surgery. They will be made smaller, not mutilated, as long as you go to a reputable plastic surgeon... However, the sad truth is that men are basically pigs when it comes to sex, as the first member response pointed out. Some even have no problem achieving erections with other men, when they're horny and there aren't any females around to satisfy their needs. So, if it feels good to have them played with, either use your God given gifts to derive pleasure for yourself, or have them made smaller to fit a more conservative image of yourself. However, don't have them operated on for the purpose of deterring men from wanting you. That's an exercise in futility and as far as I'm concerned what men think shouldn't be the reason you decide to anything important to or with your body...

Thanks G-
I know men will fuck anything, my problem is that it seems like that's all they think about with me. Even men I meet that I can talk to and connect with on an intellectual level, once they see me in person, it's over. I have also had men who act like I just showed up to bring them candy, grabbing at me with no control. Men who had discussed wanting a relationship, all of a sudden are like .."Yeah, well, I am not really looking for anything serious..."
So the conversations about museums, movies or other activities dissapear.

When the men stared at your ex, were you jealous, embarrassed or proud? Did you think:"Yeah fools she's my girl, eat your heart out!" or, "Jesus, I didn't realize men would eye fuck a chick even when she is with her bf!"or "Wow, this is embarrassing, I feel like I am in public with a freak show!"
If she liked that type of attention, she doesn't have the same problem I do.

I honestly believe men are embarrassed by my appearance, so they want to hook up with me and have fun in private (and I know men will fuck a one legged hooker with a bad perm and two teeth), but if you can fuck me more than once, and actually hang out and do fun stuff with me too, why fuck me and run?

I have also been in touch with men I used to chat with, who are now married, and they are contacting me again wanting to sleep with me. So the whole time they were chatting me up, they were seriously dating other women, so to them, I was just for sex, while other women got the dating and relationships.

I know I am a big girl, and in spite of what this post sounds like, I am actually very comfortable in my own skin. I am not complaining about what I have, I am concerned that I may never find a real relationship because of this "gift's" connection to sex.

As I said, I am self-deprecating, my joke has always been that I have been given the body to bear children and breast feed a nation, but I don't have children, because it seems to be nearly impossible to meet a decent man who wants to have anything more to do with me outside fulfill his sexual needs, and the whole time it's like they've been drugged: "...OH my god...those are the biggest...OH my God......uhm well I am not looking for a relationship right now..."

Well have you ever thought it might not be your boobs?

What if they meet up and you just dont click like how you did online?

It could be a clash of personalities?

When men stared at my ex i was not proud, Because end of the day she was doing it delibratly to get their attention, to show me that she is wanted by the oporsit sex to make me jelous. It just made me think yea, hold on, if she is doing shit like this with me here, what is she like when im not around.

Its like. she is my girl yea. im walking with her, yet she is inviting other men to stare at her boobs, That makes me look like im some kind of dickhead because she is my girl. Its like me walking around with my dick hanging out and i start swinging it around and shit.

Why dont you not fuck the guys? I bet they would stick around for longer..


Its like this yeah

If you go to a store and buy food ,, its ok, However if a man was to go out and hunt for his food, the food will allways taste better.

Thank you for your reply.

I have seen how men react to women, all women...but I seem to bring out a special kind of aspect out in terms of the "men are pigs about sex" idea.

I was pushed by friends and family to have a breast reduction about 8 yrs ago, and I saw a plastic surgeon, I saw the videos, and how the surgery is performed, I have yet to understand how any woman is happy of her appearance after that surgery. I understand if the back pain is unbearable. At 30 I though I might still have a chance to get married and have children, I did not think it would be fair to present the bride of Frankenstein to a man and as far as children are concerned, breast feeding is the healthiest way to introduce them to the world as all they need to grow and protect is found in the collustrum passed in mother's milk. The women on the videos were done having children and had men next to them to support their decision.

You made the comment about a more "conservative image"...I wonder if you didn't just hit the nail on the head with that one. Men look to have a good time with wild women, but they want to marry the good girl, maybe my non-conservative appearance is that line. Being or not being a good girl can be faked...Not LOOKING like a 'good girl' can't, unless I go to the knife to change my appearance to a more conservative societally acceptable appearance.

Sometimes I think I chose the wrong part of my body to put to work, I should have put the girls to work, not my brain! LOL.

Ok if you chop your tits off yea

and u fuck the guys

they will still run away

To me, the bottom line here is if you're comfortable in your own skin, then why be concerned about what men think? If he acts lasciviously toward you, once you meet a guy after having nice chats over the Internet, with him, then just have a heart-to-heart and discuss the situation with him in a kind manner. Most guys respond to frankness well and are really rather compassionate when they're give a chance to be. (smile)

^^ yea what she said

Oh, believe me as I said in my original post, I have many flaws, and there are definately the men I don't click with, funny thing, they will actually tell me why something about my personality doesn't work with them. I bring out honesty in people somehow, because I tend to be brutally honest.

When I first signed on to the online dating idea 8 yrs ago, I was hoping I would find a relationship, but quickly found out that is not what was going on, so for a while I made the decision to have some fun. So, I did, I figured I was a big girl(as in grown up not fat..lol) and I can do what I wanted...so I had a blast, but at the end of the day I realized that quite a few of those men, actually DATED other women, but they were just hooking up with me.

Women have made the mistake of thinking that sleeping with a man will make him fall in love with her...it's a not the way it works, and if the sex is good, they will stick around...FOR the SEX...I want them to stick around because I am funny, and smart and nurturing...not because I can rock their world in bed or because my "God given gifts" fulfill some fantasy of theirs of being with a woman with big breasts...actually along those lines, I have suspected some men are embarrassed to be attracted to full figured women too.

I ended up dating someone in RL..well 'dating'...I don't know what the hell it was, but we were together for over a year altogether. We watched movies, tried new restaurants (take out), played games, talked, celebrated bdays, vdays, holidays...but we never went out. I found out the guy was: "Mortified to be seen in public with you!"...He said I was fat and ugly, but those words did not match what we had in private. I did not date, go online or have sex with anyone for a year. I am lonely and would like a relationship so when someone contacted me on here again, I became active on this site again. Recently something happened and it made me start looking back at all my encounters, dating, sexual etc... So I decided to ask the men on this site for feedback.

I was just looking at my replies, maybe my problem is I talk too much!
Now if I could just teach the girls to carry on an intelligent conversation....

LOL.
I give up on finding a real relationship ...EVERY DAY!...but I wake up with new hope everyday as well.

Thank you all for answering my whinny complaint.

It sounds like the guy you had the year long "relationship" with was a real jerk, devoid of class and character. To tell anyone that they're fat and ugly is extremely cruel, especially, when they've been enjoying the pleasure of your company for a fair amount of time. Personally, I don't think most guys are so absolutely heartless unless they're really fed up with a woman's games or if they're not getting anywhere with the woman. The guy you're talking about was obviously a cad and a nasty, rude one at that. Go out and find yourself another more appreciative guy and if he refrains from taking you out, then kick his butt to the curb and look for another one. There are plenty of men out there so by trial and error, as we all go through regardless of our body shapes and sizes, you'll -eventually- find one who is appreciative of and Not embarrassed about your bountiful breasts.

Thank you Garance. :) I hope you are right, I am not getting any younger!

LOL not every man in the world is a breast man. That's ridiculous. Less than 15% of societies in the world even consider breasts to be remotely sexual. And of the ones that do, not all of them think the bigger, the better. Breast obsession is a cultural thing, and the US is one of the few places that is so obsessed with them.

Yeah, I am going to agree, as you can see, these men I meet don't really want to be with me, so every man is not a breast man, but I think there is a big % who want to play with them and then run. LOL.

Oh absolutely. There are always going to be men out there that only see you as a sexual object. But they would be there no matter the size of your chest. Hell, I am a 28AA and get hit on every time I leave the house. Even when I'm with a guy. They wait till I walk to the bathroom to hit on me, or they even sometimes tell the guy I'm with how hott I am or whatever else they feel like saying. They'll always be there, but I don't take those guys too seriously. They're usually harmless. I usually just find it flattering, take it as a compliment. Then laugh it off and go on with my life.

Wow, well I think you're very lucky. You're probably beautiful too. I don't get hit on like that, I get cat calls and beligerent crude comments. I would love to live in a different body for a day to see what the difference is.

OMG! Wouldnt' that be cool? To be able to alter parts of your appearance and see how society treats you differently? I think Gwen Palrow did it when she filmed Shallow Hal. She had no idea what it is like to live in a fat body but the fat suit gave her a different perspective. Easier to put on a fat suit than to lose the weight for this experiment though. Maybe I just need to lose weight.

Well, prior to the past couple years, I had never been hit on other than by men in their 50s, so it is a new experience for me. The other night, I was at a bar. A guy was standing behind me and said to the guy I was with that I smelled amazing. Most random compliment ever. Hahaha.

It would be a very interesting psychological experiment, to be able to alter things about ourself just to see how we would be treated. Shallow Hal is a good example. Although I think it's also a good example about how just changing our mindset about what we're looking for can alter things dramatically as well.

You shouldn't change anything about your appearance for other people, only for yourself. Don't worry so much about size. We all have our own natural sizes. You should focus more on health. That is much more important anyway, right?