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babygirll18

Joined: 9/27/2004

I don't know why I'm asking you's this question, but how do I break up with my boyfriend, its soooooooooooooooooooooooo hard its ridiculous, I honeslty feel like its impossible. I need to get out because he's abusive in every way and its tearing me apart and bringing me down.

Posts: 84

Posted 10 years ago
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cams only room

Joined: 10/20/2008

get him arrested

Posts: 460

Posted 10 years ago
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DreamLoverNYC

Joined: 10/1/2004

your not being smart here, why are you staying with a guy that abuses you? What is gonna happen if you try and leave? how is it hard? If its an Extreme situation get a male family member to help you move your stuff out or call the police to be a witness as you move out. Or better yet tell him your out of this sit Fuck it! he's probably a coward anyway a real man dont gotta diss or abuse a female to feel better about himself. Stupid situation.

Posts: 92

Posted 10 years ago
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shobuilder

Joined: 12/12/2007

you should be asking the girls how to dump a guy,I'm sure you'd get some creative responses! Personally I don't understand why anyone stays in an abusive relationship,what's so good about it? Do you enjoy being miserable?If things are so bad for you it shouldn't be that hard to end it and move on. Tell him you're pregnant,its not his,you've been sleeping with his sister,best friend,cousin,etc...you want to get married,want a big expensive ring,a big wedding,or just steal his credit cards,checkbook,identity,etc.. . or crash his car,... if he's so abusive give some back to him, if yuo're still not sure whaty to do go watch 'Fatal Attraction', together, tell him its your favorite movie. Good Luck!

Posts: 4

Posted 10 years ago
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nighthowl50

Joined: 9/28/2005

i had a hard time breaking up with a really nice guy. i went with him for almost 9 months because i didn't want to hurt him. i finally decided i had to do what was right for me and just told him that i didn't think i was a good match for him. we did remain friends though.

Posts: 4912

Posted 10 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Reply to: you should be asking the girls how to dump a guy,I'm sure you'd get some creati...
Get the girl killed. Good idea genius!


However if you stay you're telling yourself and everyone else you deserve the abuse you get. If you leave and go back, again you deserve it. Call the cops have him arrested, or at least have them there while you get your shit and GET OUT!


It's NOT hard.

Posts: 24442

Posted 10 years ago
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babygirll18

Joined: 9/27/2004

Reply to: Get the girl killed. Good idea genius! However if you stay you're telling y...
it honestly feels like its so hard to do i know im being stupid but thats just how i feel i dont know how i can love someone that treats me like shit

Posts: 84

Posted 10 years ago
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shobuilder

Joined: 12/12/2007

Reply to: it honestly feels like its so hard to do i know im being stupid but thats just ...
Had no intention of getting anybody killed,just trying to add a bit of humor to a bad situation. If you can't convince him you're psycho and make him want to run, you're stuck with his abuse.you may love him but if he loves you why does he treat you like shit? maybe he wants you to break up with him,guys do stupid shit too. has he always treated you like shit? , or just recently? Is there actual physical abuse,or is he just an asshole?If its physical,simply call the cops. Its never easy to lose someone you love,are you afraid of being without Him, or being alone without someone to love?

Posts: 4

Posted 10 years ago
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jafritz

Joined: 10/31/2007

Just plan ahead. Find yourself a new place to stay, rent a truck, round up everyone you know and just move when he's at work.

Posts: 2

Posted 10 years ago
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wwcooke

Joined: 10/5/2004

It is really a tough question to be asking. Do you have the funds to move? Friends to seek help? If all else fails the law but I wouldn't bet my life on them. Only you know what this guy is capable of and the sooner you put distance between the two of you the better. Sorry but not much help here,

Posts: 5

Posted 10 years ago
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Etritonakin

Joined: 9/11/2008

Abusive people limit your options... whether they (or you) realize it or not, so the abused person is often left with few -if any -options (depending on the level and type of abuse). This is a serious situation. If he is truly abusive in "every" way, do not feel you have to tell him anything in person. If you feel you are in danger, make a first call to the police, and ask advice -even about restraining orders and such. If you have told him to leave you alone and he shows up -call the police and do not talk to him. Document everything -day, date, time -and exactly what happened.
MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR TO HIM.. if you have not already (NOT in person and only if HE contacts YOU)-that it is not working and you want him to leave you alone -being polite is not a bad idea, but keep the conversation as short as possible -and do not be afraid to say "I have to go" -and hang up. If you have told him to leave you alone -stick to that! It sounds like you are afraid of him -trust your 'instincts'. If you are truly afraid and think you are still in danger, go were he isn't. This may seem like giving him power, but it robs him of opportunity. You owe an abusive person NOTHING!

Posts: 321

Posted 10 years ago
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wingnudtzzaa

Joined: 4/30/2008

If he's abusive LEAVE now. Don't contact him again, change your phone numbers, move...do whatever you need to do to get away. Abusers are manipulators to the nth degree and he will no doubt turn it around on you. Tragically I have seen women die because they hang on to an abusive relationship hoping things will get better.....they NEVER do. Get a restraining order, file police reports and again.....cut all ties and never talk to him again. Make sure you tell your family and friends, school and/or employer. This is serious shit.

Posts: 52

Posted 10 years ago
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dfury90

Joined: 11/11/2008

I think its not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.

Posts: 23

Posted 10 years ago
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bobcat67

Joined: 4/4/2004

if he's ebing both emotionaly and physically abusive you need to leave and leave now not next month not next week not even tomorrow it needs to be now nobody has a right to treat any like that but how you do it is ultimatly up to you and only you know how he truely would react by the sounds he would not be very understanding and may try to coltrol you and keep you from leaving best thing I can suggest is leave when he goes out grab what you need and just go if you have the means I storngly suggest having a 1 or 2 friends with you when you do leave this way you can pack up everything take it away and never look back another good option is just to leave with enough clothes on your back to get out safely and go to a shelter for women (if you have nowhere else to go ie friends parents etc) they can truely help and will help you find a place of your own and also help you get your own stuff back if need be

Posts: 6

Posted 9 years ago
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mrlickonya

Joined: 1/6/2008

tell him that you have herpes and your dr. said you need sex 5 times a day or youll turn into a lesbian! lol! just kidding, get a restraning order or better yet, just move in with me! ill be sweet to ya!

Posts: 10

Posted 9 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

If someone is so abusive like that you just dump them.....it's pretty simple. There are nice guy's out there just try and look with your heart and not your eyes....the latter can be more deceiving.

Posts: 130

Posted 9 years ago
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verdiclelimit

Joined: 1/26/2009

first off he is abusive so it shouldnt be hard to do unless your intimidated, if you dnt have the guts to just tell himto fuck off for whtever reason you should wait till a sitation that you hold all the cards in like an argument the moment he get abusive whether itbe verbal or physical just get upand leave whle telling him you'v had enough and that you cant do this anymore, grab aenough stuff for a few days then leave in a day or two he will call apologizeing then you stay strong and tell him thatthe hurt and damage he has created with ya'lls relationship is beyond repair then go with a freind or two and get the rest of your shit

Posts: 3

Posted 9 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

If he's really that bad to the point where it's out of control my advice is simply leave a message on his phone or a letter or whatever but be safe and don't do it in person unless you've got some other guy friends with you. Depending on his work schedule I say just clear your stuff out when he's away and leave a note. Again I don't know if your talking physical abuse or he's just being a jerk and emotionally abusive. Either way don't stick around and take there are alot of nice guys who'll treat you right out there.

Posts: 130

Posted 9 years ago
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SteveNParkville

Joined: 1/7/2009

Reply to: it honestly feels like its so hard to do i know im being stupid but thats just ...
No woman or man for that matter deserves to be in an abusive relationship. If he is physically abusive I would highly recommend calling an abuse hotline and talking to them ... I work in an ER setting sometimes and these people know how to deal with these situations as they can become very dangerous. No matter what though know that the way you feel is not uncommon but it is good that you recognize the relationship as unhealthy and one that has to end. I wish you best of luck and please follow through and get out.

Posts: 1193

Posted 9 years ago
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A little less t...

Joined: 8/25/2008

Sweetie If he is truly abusive to you, weather it be verbal or physical, YOU NEED TO GET OUT!! first it starts out verbal,then it becomes physically and then their are excuses, it's your fault, they were high, drunk ect. it will not get any better , it will only get worse!!!
you may love him but it sounds like you need to learn to love yourself! love is many ways and many reasons and being emotional or physical abused is not one of the ways, surely you have felt you loved someone before you met him and you will find someone else to love after you leave him. no matter what he may tell you or how you may feel you do not deserve to be abused bye anyone!. no matter if you did something or said something to piss him off...if you feel you cant leave him because of funds , there are battered women's shelters you can go to, they will help u , counsel you to obtain your self esteem back,help you get on your own 2 feet , job, housing ,food ect. call a friend or family member.DON'T be ashamed to tell them what is going on ! they love and care about you and surely don't want this happening to you....

I DON'T AGREE with anyone who has encouraged you to tell him , your pregnant, seeing another man ,your a lesbian , have a std, hitting him back, stealing from him, crash his car, ect. i feel if you tell him these things he will possible become really abuse you ! the last thing you wanna do is to tell him something that will piss him off, it may piss him off and the next time he beats you, you may wind up dead! slowly pack your things up so he doesn't acknowledge it, ( you can get your clothing together in dresser and hangers. so they will be ready for you to put in a box when your ready to go.or when you contact a family member,abuse hot line , friend or a shelter, set up the day it will happen so they can help you move out , so you don't have to do it alone .Don't let money be a focus to you!!!! once you have gotten a place to go to and a day set up to move out, call the police and have him arrested!!!, while he is sitting in jail, you will not have to worry about him catching you or being there, it will give you time to move your needed things out without fearing he will catch you. and let the police know what your plans are and they will keep him their longer so you have the time to do it...Don't focus on material items, they can always be replaced at a later date n time.YOUR LIFE CANNOT BE!

Don't waste your time getting a restraining order on him, for that really is not protection for you! SO many people violate them!!! just like a dear friend of mine husband did 16 years ago, painfully for me to type these words but she is now 6 feet under, ( and he said he didn't mean to kill her, a bit to fucking late for that now!!!!!! the mother fooker has the pleasure of our taxes paying for his ass to sit in jail and eat!! and my dear friend is 6 feet under ) and 3 beautiful children growing up without their mother. :O(

sweetie when a person becomes violent, pissed off they don't realize the strength they have and none can predict their next move. so i don't suggest putting a restraining on him because, once you file one, it will have your address where you are staying and that is not what you want him to know. he will get this information because HE WILL BE GIVEN A COPY OF THE RESTRAINING ORDER!!!. And more then likely once he knows where you are at, he will want to contact you, to tell you how sorry he is, that he loves you, he will never do it again, to get you to drop charges on him or because he is pissed off because you had him arrested and will want to retaliate on you ect...your a beautiful young lady and your deserve to have a man that will nurture you, protect you, love you , care about you, be appreciative to you and to have you, respect you.. you have to get out of that relationship now no matter how much you love and care about him, no matter how much you have to Scarface , or because you have to stay with someone else instead of your own place ... he doesn't care about you , and i am so sorry if this hurts you saying it but sometimes sweetie the truth hurts! if he did he would not be abusive to you. you don't need to stay with him and continue to take it because you think you have no other options YOU DO HAVE OTHER OPTIONS!! PLEASE leave as soon as you get in touch with someone and have a place to stay!!don't sit around thinking about it just do it!!!!! your life is so precious sweetie and you deserve better! GET OUT WHILE YOUR STILL ALIVE!
If you had a daughter and she was being abused, what would you tell her to do? stay and deal with it , or tell her to get out? surely you would tell her what YOU HAVE TO DO > GET OUT!!!!!!


AND YES THERE ARE ABUSIVE WOMEN OUT THERE THAT BEAT ON THERE MEN! THIS IS NOT JUST A MALES ACTION.

Posts: 321

Posted 9 years ago
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A little less t...

Joined: 8/25/2008

P.S I JUST NOTICED THE DATE YOU POSTED THIS..HOPEFULY YOU ARE MOVED OUT??????

Posts: 321

Posted 9 years ago
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worknsmurf78

Joined: 8/2/2008

Don't go back! There is better than that!

Posts: 37

Posted 9 years ago
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A little less t...

Joined: 8/25/2008

Reply to: I think its not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
it appears you don't have much knowledge on what an abusive person is capable of doing to a person or a persons mind. neither you or myself really knows this males character, sadly she dose, she lives with him and she knows what he is capable of doing and what he will possible do and the type of person he is.

it is very obvious that she is intimidated, scared and has low self esteem. More then likely from being brained washed ,abused, threatened or maybe what happened to her when she may have tried to leave in the past.

People who come from an abusive environment, as they were growing up , think this is normal . when in fact it is NOT normal. Many people who have grown up in an abusive environment and have witnessed, what can happen to one when one trys to leave will also prevent them from trying to leave.

So it is not as easy as you think it is," to exit" an abusive relationship or an abusive environment that she is livingin?..

Posts: 321

Posted 9 years ago
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Ice_Man

Joined: 8/7/2008

Reply to: it appears you don't have much knowledge on what an abusive person is capable o...
I don't know why I'm asking you's this question, but how do I break up with my boyfriend, its soooooooooooooooooooooooo hard its ridiculous, I honeslty feel like its impossible. I need to get out because he's abusive in every way and its tearing me apart and bringing me down.

Abusive in every way like physical too? Any way just tell him its over get your shit and move out or gather your things when he is not there and move out and leave a note on the tv screen(or some where he is sure to see it). Or if you think that is too dangerous of a step to do alone. If its your house/app Call the cops and have the cops/sheriffs escort him from your property. It may seem like a very drastic solution but seriously being a Sheriff i see this shit all the time and people just need support so why not get the law on your side. :) I can say that there is at least one call a week that relates to some kind of relationship that is going wrong. i say stop it now before it gets worse. No human needs to live with any one like that, and it saddens me to know that there are people that really don't have enough strength to change their own lives. Good luck, Every one deserves to BE HAPPY and is entitled to IT.

Posts: 40

Posted 9 years ago
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bigdick_69

Joined: 2/23/2009

tell him to leave you the fuck alone. when hes not there pack yo shit and leave. go to the cops and tell them you need a restraining order for so and so. and get the fuck outta there. honey if i was there id beat him to the ground.

Posts: 18

Posted 9 years ago
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