playing hard to get is just a waste of time and energy. just inform the guy if you are not interested in him rather than playing games with him.it is frustrating and annoying as well. girls like that should lighten up , we,re in the 21st century.

I disagree. Your operating under the assumption this is all about sex. When in fact this thread is about the first part of the relationship, The most important part of a new one, the getting to know someone part. Just because your seeing someone dont mean sex is at the forefront of the relationship. I'll admit, if im interested in someone there's some physical attraction on my part (that is nature) but when im trying to get to know who they are and they're playing that I'm interested, no im not, yes i am, no im not. Ive found there's nothing that turns me off faster than that.

They r designed so, for better generations, just like other animals. Realy its easy to play hard, just take a breath and go

women playing hard to get is just a joke... for a guy to try hard, puppy dog after them, etc defeats the purpose, because they lose respect and therefore cannot be attracted to such a guy.

the only women that play hard to get are naive girls under the age of 23... not like they have much choice to begin with, pathetic that this only exist in their heads and behind false egos.

so we who cant play hard, have to wait till we get 30, hehehe

so we who cant play hard, have to wait till we get 30, hehehe

no dude... with a smile like that, I have a feeling you dont have any problem at all attracting the ladies.... let em come to you! Just remain calm and cocky, but not arrogant (that will turn em off)

:-) thanks dude, thats right, i wil try

To see if the guy is willing to put in that extra effort just for her. Girls want to feel special.

I know this is veryyyyy old but this is very interesting. I was once like most of you hating women who play hard to get, but here's my story:

My current girlfriend was a party chick. Im a stay home guy. We are veryyyyy different. She gets hit on 24/7 by guys wherever she goes, clubs, stores, streets. Yes shes gorgeous. Me, Im i guess your average guy. I cant dance, im smart, wise, ppl say im funny, etc..Physically im thin and not exactly in the best shape of my life but i am athletic.

Anyways, when we met, we started off as friends. I met her through one of my friends and to be honest we never thought we'd ever be together, even today we are kind of shocked lol. Well, she hinted at some point she was starting to like me but didnt say it directly, and I caught on quickly, and I told her straight up that i was starting to also, just didnt know why. i couldnt give her a reason. Anyways, we started going out, she used to make me chase after her, she would ditch me sometimes, ignore me, get mad at me, get moody, and you get the idea.. And at first I would chase, re-assure her that i care for her etc..She used to tell me to go hang out with friends isntead and i told her if i wanted to, i would, but i wanted to be with her. Eventually what i did was, i switched the tables. I started showing me upset sometimes, ditching her, ignoring her, letting her know she fucked up that time, even almost left her twice. Well, all of those experiences have showed us how much we want each other. Now we both love each other, cant picture ourselves apart. Shes now open with me and im open with her. Granted i was open with her alooooot sooner. But I took that risk and thats what women want, they want a man who puts themselves in a vulnerable position b/c that shows he really cares. The moment you do that, she will know you're being true but ofc, theres such a thing is lying so its not totally reliable hence the palying hard to get part lol. Playing hard to get is annoying at first, but its a 2 way street, no one said guys cant do it.

To guys: Learn how to not be too desperate. Not saying become a player, saying, be patient, nothing worth having was easy to get. Relationships need time and investment for them to really work out well. Im the long-term relationship type and even though she was a party chick used to having a whole bunch of guys asking her out, she chose me b/c of my honesty and patience with her. You cant expect to get the perfect girl for you without any sort of effort. This isnt one of those 2 question interviews : do you like me, yes, Do i like you, yes, ok lets go out. Doesnt work that way.

To girls: playing hard to get is fine if you're doing it for the right reasons. Remember, a guys patience varies but if hes not your type, tell him sooner rather than later. I know some women will make a man chase so hard until he quits since she had to intention of being with him anyways. Sometimes, showing how you feel will give the guy a hint or some hope that its not a waste of time. its like, only putting together 1 piece of the puzzle everyday, and theres over 1000 pieces. Not everyone plays the same game, and remember, the place where you meet a guy says a bit about what kind of guy he is.

I agree with what visitor stated above.

hi there..i just read ur comment. and i like it.and its kind of wat i'm going through. just a question. i'm not sure if shes playing hard to get or just not interested.. she was my ex from 10 years ago. and i dumped her and went out with her best friend. (Yes i was a jerk!!) I hurt her. and then we met a few years back and tried to date her other friend.. (yes I was a jerk again!!) But now its 2010 present day.. were actually talking .. or at least i think were talking. we went on a few dates..we talked bout the past and she says shes afraid to fall for me again becuz i put her through so much in the past. and that i would have to earn her trust.(and on the side note she says all of her co workers and friends are telling her not to date me and that she is stupid for wanting to be with someone like me) well we dated now for a month..but never really alone dates always has to be with her friends.. and sometimes she doesn't call me back when she says she will. like as if she doesn't care. and then she'll randomly pop out of no where.. like nothin happened.. sigh.. but i give her all my time.. waiting for her to text.. to call me.. i'm available 24-7..i'm sorry to bother you. :) i just know that she is the one for me, minus the mistakes i've made. is she really interested?? can this work?? should i play games?? and act like i don't want her?

She IS being stupid. She shouldn't date you after all you've put her through. But, as far as your questions go, NO, do not play games with her. After all that you've put her through, you want to put her through more?

.

Don't u get it? It's PLAYING hard to get. She's just having some fun or otherwise, she's having a nice thought that lots of girls are getting today.
It depends on how nice she is.
Anyways; Some ''smart'' girls are putting in head the idea of: If a guy gets a girl in the''easy way'' then he will not feel like having her or otherwise he will not feel that she is worth it. But if he did bother and fight and went through many challenges for her than he surely won't let her go that easy.
Like I said, It depends

Playing hard to get tests just how much he wants her and is willing to fight for her. we're not sending mix signals; we want to see how far you are willing to go in order to date us.

I think the game really sucks. It's hard to know how to get a girl to like you and its even harder to get it to work especially when when she is playing games and trying to play hard to get. Girls! - give a guy a chance.

"I think the game really sucks. It's hard to know how to get a girl to like you"

Dear Advice, The game really does "suck" when You aren't comfortable in your own skin. You don't have to "know how to get a girl to like you." You have to already be someone she is interested in getting to know. An LTR always boils down to each person knowing who they are and what they want in a mate before they start playing the game.

If you don't know what you want, why you want it, and how to figure out if it is a part of the person you want to date, you are courting disaster for you both.

Why do you think that the #1 attractive quality for for both sexes is self-confidence? (Not to be confused with arrogance, btw.) :-)))

It's because self-confidence is achieved by knowing who you are and what you want/are looking for, and not willing to change who you are for everyone that comes along to challenge the strength of your convictions.

"why some women feel the need to play hard" (and it isn't playing, folks)

Not just women, but men, also, do this to see if the person they are testing is strong or weak. Most people (I read this somewhere) can only hide their true nature for three to six months maximum under close and frequent contact.

Give some thought to this when you are only 2-4 weeks into the chase. Don't you want to know if the person is really who they say they are? Don't you want to know that they are wondering the same about you and willing to put in the time to find out?

Hmmmm...that reminds me, I've got some thinking to do along those exact lines myself. thanks for the memory trigger, ladies and gents! (big smile)

True Dat! It was in the 40's my Mom coming up. Me in the 70's, my neice & ok, me now. Damned if you do, Damned if you don't

"It is not the persuit of happiness, it is the happiness of the sersuit!!"

But there is a difference between playful flirting and playing games. It is a file line difference between the two. Guys think with their eyes, and women think with their feelings/emotions. Most guys - it is 90% looks. Most women, it is 90% everything else.

Good luck everyone.

You're just looking for a score. That's why women these games in the 1rst place they're trying to weed out the players like you who will move in soon to the next.

I call BS on that. Cause if there's no chemistry in the first place, no amount of me chasing you is going to build it. Your better off, giving him attention talking to him, hanging out with him and seeing what he's about over time than this, hard to get nonsense. And if its just about sex than you'll probably find that out quickly.

I find it such a bore to chase a girl around. I rather talk to her get to know her and spend time with her that's it. If there's nothing there, there's never going to be anything there.

Response to explanation #1. The problem is women THINK men think less of them when they're honest about their interest. The most common misconception many women have is that men won't value a woman unless she plays hard to get. This may be true if she's sexually slutty, but far from true when it comes to just being honest about her feelings. Most men ACTUALLY value a gal that's no nonsense, honest and low maintenance. Why value dishonesty in any relationship? If a guy's not interested, it usually has nothing to do with how interested she seemed. I've read studies after studies that have been done and the results were that most men absolutely hate sexual tension, whereas women love it.

Response to explanation #2. Playing hard to get has absolutely NOTHING to do with being physical! If a woman actually admits to being interested then both of them can start dating to see how compatible they are. If you want to hold back physically, all you have to say is that you want to take things slow because you want to have time to know him a little better first. That's called honest communication! Imagine that! Most DECENT men want good communication in their relationship! Men trying to get a piece of meat, won't have the patience to let something drag on and on. Women aren't stupid, most of them can tell what a guy's about.

Hard to get has to do with the simple fact that women pick up very early on that men have a strong drive. They know that they can get more if they play it cool. If I want a good deal on a used truck, I'll try not to act interested in the truck. The problem is that men are human beings not trucks. On a moral level, human beings should always be viewed as the ends not just the means. That's just my opinion for what it's worth.

P.S. If fear was a woman's motivation for being difficult, she certainly wouldn't be messing around with low life bad boys. I'm not saying fear is NEVER the reason, but I think in many if not most cases, fear is an excuse women use to make men jump through hoops. I say that because when conditions are right, women throw all that fear stuff out the window. Sure, they can make a man more crazy about them if they play games with his head, but it's at the expense of his feelings for the sole purpose of her egotistical satisfaction, not his. Men want a relationship that's a two way street, where the two love and respect each other. If one side is being too selfish, things don't work out. Basically men want all the things women claim they want when they think people are listening.

the play of the hard to get ,that its a fact which
girls use to know for many year , and not necessarily should be.
its just becuase the too much many propotion that the men
give to the girls , and dont let them any choice but
to play the hard to get.