Home > Forum > Ask a Girl > Why play hard to get?
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dfury90

Joined: 11/11/2008

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Posted 6 years ago
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artistbytrade

Joined: 5/24/2003

Hard to get is just an excuse while she waits to see if something better is going to come along. If she isn't into you, then she just isn't. Find someone that responds to what you are putting out.

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Posted 6 years ago
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deleted site

Joined: 4/8/2004

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nighthowl50

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just living ma ...

Joined: 7/23/2008

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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

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Posted 6 years ago
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dfury90

Joined: 11/11/2008

Reply to: When a girl plays hard to get, they seem cold and confused. When she is up fro...
I disagree,Im not one that enjoys playing games and chasing girls. I would much rather have an upfront and honest girl.

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Posted 6 years ago
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wickedblueglow

Joined: 1/15/2008

Reply to: I disagree,Im not one that enjoys playing games and chasing girls. I would much...
Explanation # 1 - the problem is guys THINK they want somebody upfront and honest...but deep inside the MAJORITY of men think 'less' of a girl who they believe didnt wait 'long enough' or gave it up too quickly - and generally lose interest after that - so it may be a subconscious thing on the guys part but we 'play' hard-to-get cause you want us too -

Explanation #2 - We hold back physically because we want to be sure of your intentions - we've been told our entire lives men will say ANYTHING to get some - so when you SAY you are sincere and want to pursue being with us our Red Flags are waving and we are put on guard...seeing is believing

If #1 or #2 don't apply she's probably just not that into you...or is weighing her options...but there isn't anything wrong with that - don't you want her to be sure that when she DOES dedicate herself to you that she does it with an open heart and mind - certain that she made the best choice for herself?

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Courtcaution

Joined: 11/10/2008

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notreally

Joined: 4/15/2005

Maybe your reading hard to get wrong. Maybe she is just trying Not to put your nuts in a vise. Hard to get isnt always a woman being coy sometimes she just isnt into you.

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Posted 6 years ago
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DreamLoverNYC

Joined: 10/1/2004

Reply to: When a girl plays hard to get, they seem cold and confused. When she is up fro...
Wow you really dont know what you are talking about and I disagree with you also. A man that likes to chase women around are most likely unknowledgable. A real man doesnt like that sh*t. He stops this behavior and tells the woman to give it to him straight! Whats goin on! Or just let me go.

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Posted 6 years ago
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DreamLoverNYC

Joined: 10/1/2004

Reply to: Explanation # 1 - the problem is guys THINK they want somebody upfront and hone...
1. Eghk! Aww.. Thanks for playing missy. but thats definetly not true. We like upfront and honesty but not smothering. Be honest of how you feel and the guy will RESPECT you more. Most females need to cut the bull! Just tell a guy either they "like them", "dont like them" , or you're "still deciding on what to think or do" BE HONEST!

2. Listen honestly nothing is really wrong with holding back pysically but remember if you met on a sexual level or overtone the guy is going to expect you to project that. And even in a regular circumstance, if a woman waits too long to give herself to a guy.. either when he gets it HE WILL BE GONE, or feel like if it turns out to be BAD sex he will still leave.

Remember You can never change that.

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Posted 6 years ago
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RoyalIrish

Joined: 9/8/2008

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Posted 6 years ago
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DreamLoverNYC

Joined: 10/1/2004

Reply to: I don't think a girl should have to TELL a guy that she likes him, that makes i...
nah you wrong again, you might be right if you mean giving off the right signals by "talking". Not "actions", these days actions signalling stuff could still be misleading. If a female does this in public u go over to talk to her and she wants to play games so you can chase her. Um, this is where she will fail with a smart man like me, because I will walk away.

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dfury90

Joined: 11/11/2008

Reply to: nah you wrong again, you might be right if you mean giving off the right signal...
I feel you there. I dont care how fly the girl is, if she wants to play games Im having nothing to do with her.

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kurasake

Joined: 4/9/2008

Yeah that's what I agree with, cause what is the real point of being played so to say, just for them to wait for some idiot to take em along, I hate that sh*t, ya know, I hate the game's and the hoops, i've always said, "Ya want game's get a goddamn gameboy advance otherwise the door is over there..." and in all reality for what I've usually wanted was someone that was for real, i'm not a damn kid anymore, i'm a grown ass man ya know, but also honesty is a key and main thing about me, I hate lies and deception, it's just destroyed way before it's begun, usually I just cut bait and walk away....cause in reality, I agree with the other two, which is "Don't waste my time, I don't have alot..."

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marigold

Joined: 10/25/2008

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Posted 6 years ago
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stevie006

Joined: 2/14/2008

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williamtell

Joined: 7/14/2004

It's called The Thrill of the Chase. Many of us – some would say men, more so than women – love the idea of winning someone over. It fills us with reassurance that we've got it, that we're attractive and that we're ultimately likeable. The problem is, once you win someone over, you need another fix. And the cycle begins again as you seek out someone new to fill you with those sensations.

This need for approval is an endless and ultimately unsatisfying cycle (except for that initial short-lived high). But, like someone who tries to get sober or kick drugs and has to get used to the dull roar of daily life without that extra kick, you have to learn to be satisfied, even occasionally excited by the day-to-day life of an actual relationship, beyond the initial chase.

That said, it has only been going on for centuries :)

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HEART QUEEN

Joined: 12/9/2008

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joyceisin

Joined: 9/10/2003

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dfury90

Joined: 11/11/2008

Well maybe every one else here likes to chase eachother around like little kids on the playground but that isnt for me. Im all about expressing my feelings and being upfront with people.

Posts: 23

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Kajunqueen

Joined: 11/29/2008

I think if the girl is playing hard to get that maybe she wants to see if you are willing to go thru a bunch of crap just to be with her.I think maybe its time for you to just flat out ask her : "Do you want me or not?"...There is only so much time for "hard to get"...then it does get confusing.

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*Sugah Sue*

Joined: 5/7/2008

The right man values a women who respects herself enough to give him a challenge. The game is called playing hard to get, not impossible to find. If she is making herself available to you than obviously she is interested. By playing hard to get, a woman establishes a sense of mystery about herself. She doesnt want to come across as being too eager or too needy or do not want men to consider them as highly promiscuous. Women are approached all the time. They need quick, easy ways to figure out if you're the real deal or a wuss that gives up at the first sign of resistance. Some women just want you to be more aware of her emotional side, and try to win over affection rather than she gives in too easily to you. She might also not want you to take her for granted if she say β€œYes” to you too early in a courtship. So understand this reason, and be patient. You will definitely succeed if you show your sincerity to her. Sometimes it's just hard to be completely direct. We like to determine how interested a guy is before we commit to anything.

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SkipDavis713

Joined: 1/1/2009

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Posted 6 years ago
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