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KindStephen

Joined: 5/3/2013

Ladies can you please help me and let me know what I am doing wrong. I can't seem to get a date or even a lady to give me a chance. I'll admit I'm super shy at first which is why for the past 8 years I have used just about every dating site with no luck. I try to talk to just about every lady in my age group and not just the ladies some might consider to be super attractive I did meet only 2 girls who both told me on the first date I had to support them financially. I'm super kind and caring which I'm not sure if that translates as boring. I'll admit I am short at 5'3, not sure if this is hurting me, I try not to let it make a difference it my life. I'm 28 now and I'm at the point where I just ready to give up and end it all. I have a good job and live on my own.

Posts: 1

Posted 5 years ago
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lianapet

Joined: 12/5/2004

Stephen,

Not finding a woman is absolutely an insane reason to "give up and end it all"....honestly there are much more important reasons to do that if you so choose to, but not for a woman.

I am going to be brutally honest with you. Your height is a big issue. Sadly you may have to compensate for that with something else. You know that old adage about old, fat and ugly...has to be rich to date a beautiful woman...while the tall, studly and stupid can get any woman he wants?

Well, same thing applies to women too. The old, fat and ugly, like myself....have just as hard a time as you do in the dating world, it's reality whether we like it or not. Technically you have to make a choice. You can't have it all. Society has created unattainable rules and the masses have followed suit. I personally have decided I don't need a man to be happy. Ironically the less interested I am the more I attract them of all ages and means. I won't settle, but that's my choice.

If you are desperate for a woman but you want her to want you for your shortcomings (no pun intended) you may be hard pressed to find one. However, if you are willing to accept that life has dealt you a hand that goes against society's standards, then you might consider supporting a woman in exchange for her affections. Plenty of men do it and they are plenty happy about it, and never alone.

The choice is yours. Either accept that we live in a fucked up world where personality and integrity no longer matter and it's about what you can give another, then you will be able to forge your own type of happiness. If you insist on some fairy tale, you may be forever depressed and unhappy, and I repeat, not having a woman, is hardly a reason to end it all, but you might drive yourself to it if you are not careful.

Posts: 2911

Posted 5 years ago
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1christyx

Joined: 4/20/2013

Stephen, I am 40 years old and have yet to find my love in life. Sometimes I think there just isnt anyone for me. I know its frustrating and you look around and it seems everyone else has paired up. But like Liana said, I believe many have "settled". That is your choice - take what you can get. "if you cant be with the one you love, love the one your with".

Me, I have chosen to love myself and find happiness doing things I enjoy. I search for local groups and get involved with community activites and try to make a difference. I like to think some of us are here for the greater good.

The bottom line is - do not look to others for your happiness. It must come from within. If your soulmate is out there, you will find each other. If you choose to just enjoy another's company without the "love", thats fine too. As long as YOU are happy.

Posts: 1

Posted 5 years ago
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Roadrunnerlxxi

Joined: 5/10/2005

Just look at the bright side that you are not 41, never been in a relationship, vertically challenged and a minority like me. I feel your frustration as I am going through the same thing. I spend a boatload of money on dating sites(match, cupid, chemistry)along with speed dating and not only did I not get any dates, I hardly got any return messages I sent out to all the women. I used to thing it's because my occupation that made me unappealing. But after quitting my retail sales job to return to school and get a engineering degree for an engineering job, I found out it didn't make any difference. I try not to thing about it and enjoy life with my hobbies(skiing, cycling, tennis, traveling, etc) to keep my mind off of women. It really help since I am very passionate about my hobbies and it takes up my free time so I don't have time to think about my lady problems.

Posts: 9

Posted 5 years ago
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Ahhcohiba

Joined: 5/10/2013

I just want to say thanks to all of the above messages. I'm almost 50 (May 25th) and haven't been on a date or in a relationship for almost a decade. I also thought it was my occupation, I'm in construction. Who wants to date someone that comes home dirty every day? And "I don't make enough, own a house, have a nice car, only am able to run a half marathon, etc." Now, I am sitting in my home on my west balcony (there's also an east and south, yes, in my place) which is on the 6th level of my home, "online" trying to figure out why I still don't have someone in my life. Oh, and my Beemer is parked downstairs.
I know the description of my home, and ya, my car, probably has you saying "materialistic jerk." Don' judge a book by its cover. I just bought my place the end of March. And I literally fluked out getting it. And it is my first home. Yes, it's way too big for me alone, but after looking elsewhere, it was the least expensive. And I finally, after working 30 years, was able to come up with a down payment. And I am still very excited about it! My Beemer...well, its 12 years old. A friend sold it to me and let me make payments to them for it so I could save on interest charges. I made monthly payments for 2 1/2 years. Like my home, I fluked out getting it. My truck was falling apart, over 550,000 km on it. And they wanted to sell it. I didn't go looking for a BMW. I couldn't get a loan and friends wanted to help me.
Now, back to where I should be. I'M ONLINE! At a DATING SITE!
Thanks ladies! It's a gorgeous evening, it's Saturday, and I need to go out :)
ps I'm single, don't drink, don't do drugs, and working on quitting smoking. just sayin :)

Posts: 1

Posted 5 years ago
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ZDEV

Joined: 5/13/2013

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Posted 5 years ago
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jem1987

Joined: 7/20/2007

Because she's not interested? She should be more upfront about it, but eh, people suck. Although guys do that a lot too.

Posts: 10722

Posted 5 years ago
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maacfriend

Joined: 4/12/2012

Reply to: One question....How can a women just stop talking to a guy after seeing each ot...
One of the things I had to learn was that you have to have a thick skin when you are on these sites.

I think some people are simply averse to any form of confrontation. It's easier to simply cut the cord then tell someone they are not interested in them.

It's just part of life, I guess.

Posts: 10

Posted 5 years ago
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holmes56

Joined: 8/30/2008

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Posted 5 years ago
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Nitzynelle

Joined: 8/17/2012

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Posts: 170

Posted 5 years ago
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eyesopen

Joined: 3/7/2013

Reply to: I just want to say thanks to all of the above messages. I'm almost 50 (May 25th...
i just want to say ....good luck on your search ...but if there are any women here that are like me ....honestly talking about all the toys you have wont get you anywhere good ...if that's what you are looking for.... and then again maybe get you what you really want and that's just to play.... just let things happen if you are looking for a true and honest relationship ....honestly its a turn off to me

Posts: 50

Posted 5 years ago
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eyesopen

Joined: 3/7/2013

kindstephen.... don't worry about your height...i know lots of people happily married or in a relationship .....being short ...is nothing... its who you are inside that counts if your cheerful and happy with a great personality then all else will fall into place ...just be aggressive go for the taller ones and don't be intimidated by them you will find they are not so scary...good luck

Posts: 50

Posted 5 years ago
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antipickle

Joined: 12/7/2008

I read a good quote somewhere on the interweb :
Do what you love, and love will find you.

Go out and have fun doing whatever you enjoy doing.
You'll meet some women that like doing the same.
Just start talking, don't wait for them, you can't succeed
unless you try.

For us shy guys... start with smiling and saying hi to strangers.
When you meet someone, Hi, I'm (name here).

Try Craigslist or something similar, local news, to find
groups to do activities with... etc.

Posts: 18

Posted 5 years ago
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lordarmand

Joined: 12/25/2010

Height is a factor for some girls as material posessions are for others. Just be yourself and enjoy your life. You have to be out in the world to meet a woman. I personally think dating sites are a waste of time as far as dating is concerned. They are great for chatting, making friends and giving/ receiving advice. If you go out everyday loving yourself and your life you are bound to find a woman of quality sooner or later.

Posts: 172

Posted 5 years ago
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