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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

It wasn't a relationship. It was just a crush that unfortunately was NOT mutual.

If you had been in a relationship with her I could understand your saddness but you weren't.


This is nothing!

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Posted 5 years ago
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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay, I just wasn't sure what I wanted to write in here. As for Saturday, I would say it was fun, but things just weren't the same. I am seriously thinking of taking a break from there for a bit. Yes, I know at least one person will be banging their head on their desk, but right now I just don't think I need to be in there right now. Also, some will tell me to get right back in there and just not worry about her anymore.

I just need a little time to keep noodling things in my head. Good thing the place is only open Fridays and Saturdays. I think I'll just hang at home a bit, I don't think I can face her right now and still be able to have fun.

------> DB, I know what you're saying. Honestly, I wish I could just do as you say and just drop it. Unfortunately, that's not me. I would by lying to myself if I didn't deal with this pain, kill it, and put it behind me. Time (I think!) is the only thing that's going to fade this pain and maybe give me the confidence to go back in there and face her and her friends. I apologize if I've let anyone down here. I've been honest with you all in the past, I'm being honest now.

Posts: 225

Posted 5 years ago
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nighthowl50

Joined: 9/28/2005

Reply to: Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay, I just wasn't sure what I wanted to write in...
you don't have to worry about "letting us down". we are only words on the internet. just don't let yourself down. if you need a little time to heal, go ahead. just don't let this experience become crippling.

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Posted 5 years ago
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LiveToLove

Joined: 1/12/2009

Reply to: Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay, I just wasn't sure what I wanted to write in...
Hey Paris ...

My only advice bro is this... the universe is unfolding as it should, let it.

Posts: 3550

Posted 5 years ago
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cutiepie007

Joined: 3/25/2009

The best way to break the ice to to approach people in a warm, open and non-threatening demeanour. NO CHEESY PICKUP-LINES! Woman cringe when they hear crap like that! Walk over and introduce yourself - you will be able to see by her body language if she is interested or not - if she is not interested, BACK OFF! Chicks don't like guys who are like a flea on a dogs arse....Rather build up a friendship with her over time and see where it goes - as I said, she will tell you what she wants with her actions and body language. Good luck! :)

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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

As I've been honest in the past, I shall today. These past two weeks, to say they were rough, would be an understatement. This past Thursday I was going to call 'Beth' and tell her off; that I was done with the place and with her. Since I'd only gotten her voice mail, I didn't think at all she would answer.

She did!!

Anyhow, she kinda coaxed me into going back the following night. Somehow, I revealed to her that I had written letters to her. She got me to read some to her and asked if she could have them (or a copy). I said ok. The next day I went to where she works and ate lunch there and gave her one of my letters and I told her I'd give her the rest (as much as I could) when I saw her that night.

So the night rolled around. I had spend a good portion of the day copying my letters for her to have. Later on, she came in and went right on by. I just shrugged and still had some fun. A little bit later she came and sat beside me. I gave her a small notebook that had as much as I could get in. Then she drops a bombshell of her own on me: "I'm going to be honest with you. There's a guy friend who I've known for 2 or 3 years and, well, while we're not b/f and g/f, we're getting there." She also told me she told this fellow about me and my letters to her. God, I felt so embarassed.

She could've hit me with a baseball bat and I wouldn't have reeled like I did right then. We talked for a few more minutes and then she hugged me and left. I know I should feel happy for her. She said this guy makes her happy and that's what I want for her.

As for me, the one left out in the cold? I think this is the point where I'm going to state that I'm going to take a break from there (maybe permantely) and just forget about dating anyone right now.

Could things be any more hopeless? I don't know. There was one woman who I had bought a drink for that night and she asked if we could do a slow dance. I had said yes, but when 'Beth' dropped her bomb on me. Let's just say everything in my brain was blown out. I wasn't trying to be rude at all! Oh well..lessons learned and all that. I want to close this thread, but I want it to stay up so that other people will know how to speak with the opposite sex. Maybe I'll be back here; I don't know. Since my days there are over, I probably won't speak on this thread again. Just a bit sad right now.

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Posted 5 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

You are way too dramatic! And this is what happens when you don't listen. I told you she wasn't interested in you that way, but did you listen? No, you kept going back to get stomped on over and over!



So now, I'm not even going to bother trying to help anymore.

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LiveToLove

Joined: 1/12/2009

Reply to: As I've been honest in the past, I shall today. These past two weeks, to say th...
Beth is the type of woman who doesn't want you Paris, that has been obvious from the very beginning. She doesn't want you, but she loves the attention you give to her.

DB is right, we've all told you this trying to be helpful. You decided to follow your heart and that is great, but you got it broken in the process.

Quit fucking whining and moping around! Best thing you can do for yourself is to continue with your gym activities.

Posts: 3550

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nighthowl50

Joined: 9/28/2005

hell we have all had our hearts broken at some time. just go have fun like you used to when you started going there. i have found it does no good to set at home and mope.
i met a guy on here and i really liked him but he didn't feel quite the same way. we have remained friends and that is the way it will remain.

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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

Hello everyone. I kinda felt like I didn't have a lot to say, but after falling off this particular wagon, I did some thinking. It's not good to let someone run me out of somewhere I like to go. After noodling it over for a few days, I decided to go back. As for 'Beth'.....it was just time for me to leave her behind. If I see her, I'll just leave her alone and just have fun. Back on the wagon again!!

As far as Friday went; well it went pretty good. I was by myself for a while, but then a group I know (and sit with sometimes) dragged me over to their group and I sat with them for the rest of the night. There's been a very hot blonde woman that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks; nothing big has happened with her and I'm not looking for it to. We had a pretty good conversation and she asked for my number (never called, didn't expect her to). She also told me she'd sit with me and my friends and dance with me to a slow song. Never did but it's alright. That's just the way things go. I have to say that the group I sat with Friday night really helped me with my blues.

Ok Saturday something strange went on and I'm not sure what to make of it. Ok, this group I sit with there's these two, a woman and her best guy friend. The woman likes to be buzzed when she comes in and then gets totally WASTED by the end of the evening. Anyhow later on in the evening he (the woman's best friend) tells me he's going to get her to kiss me. Huh?? I ask him if he's serious and he says she likes me. To say the least I was shocked. To be honest, I never looked at this woman in a dating sense. I've only seen her drunk or buzzed; never sober. I said go ahead and try if he'd like.

Later on in the evening he went and sat at the bar and I went sat beside her just to see what happens. Well, just about everything made this woman guffaw like crazy and she would lean against me and put at least one arm around me. Yes, I know she's drunk so I didn't think much of it. When I was dancing she'd get up and dance with me, making just about constant eye contact, holding hands, and rubbing herself against me. Like I said, I'm not looking any farther than Saturday night, but it was just strange.

At the end of the night I took the guy friend aside and I talked to him about her. He told me she likes me. I asked like she likes everyone who sits at her table. He said no, as in 'relationship' like. I was floored!! Up until this night I had NEVER seen the woman in that way. Heh, I was so caught up in Beth maybe I missed the signs. I revealed to him that I had my heart hurt there twice and didn't want it hurt again. He said he'd take care of it. What does that mean??? Anyhow, I'm kinda not sure what to do now. I'm still going to go out and have fun (unless I have my child on those nights, then it's staying home with them), but not sure what to do about this woman.

I just wanted to let you all know I went back and will try to report on a regular basis. Later!

Posts: 225

Posted 5 years ago
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nighthowl50

Joined: 9/28/2005

Reply to: Hello everyone. I kinda felt like I didn't have a lot to say, but after falling...
glad to hear it. good luck!

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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

What's up everyone? I thought I'd put down my adventures for last night. Everything went ok. One of the bartenders knew the blonde woman who asked for my number and she (the bartender) told me to stay FAR away from her. Good thing I didn't buy her a drink or talk to her all that much.

As for the other woman who's best guy friend told me she liked me: Well, I decided to go to the source and find out for sure. She told me she was going through a messy divorce right now and she was just out having fun with her friends (me included). She stated I was a great guy, but she just wanted to be single and take care of her children. It was cool, I really wasn't looking to date her anyway, I wouldn't even have known if her guy friend hadn't told me.

The dancing started off really slow, but then I started getting into it. There's one woman who just randomly comes up and starts putting her arms around me and rubbing herself against me and then after a few seconds takes off like a shot! I also ended up dancing with a few other women (one time 3 at once hehe!!). All in all it wasn't great, but it wasn't awful, either. I'll try to get out a full report for tonight monday (hopefully). Later!

Posts: 225

Posted 5 years ago
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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

Hi all. First of all, my time here and at the bar is probably up for now. My son will be here tonight and I'll be taking care of him for 7 weeks. Maybe I'll be able to have some free time and come here and to the bar, but I just don't know; I have to take it day by day.

As for this past weekend, well, let's just say I had a lot of people there tell me I tore it up on the dance floor. I knew my son was coming so I just tried to have fun and hang with my friends and that's what I did. One of the owners commented to me the next night that she was tired just watching me dance. I did a lot of dancing both nights. Sometimes I was by myself, other times others were dancing and then I had women on me dancing close or 'grinding' against me. It was a lot of fun and will be patient and wait for my next opportunity to go back.

Now, I have a lot of friends I can sit with and even dance with. I am so glad that I have gone and am thankful for the times I've had there and can't wait to discover what kind of adventures I'll have there in the future. Thanks to everyone who's given me advice here (and on other threads!). Hopefully I'll be able to drop in every once in a while, but we'll just have to see. Later!

Posts: 225

Posted 5 years ago
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Kajunqueen

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Hi all. First of all, my time here and at the bar is probably up for now. My so...
Later,Paris...
I hope you and your son have a good visit together.The dancing can wait! LOL The kids do not stay little for long,enjoy it while you can,it wont be long and he will be on the dance floor..........
;)

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Posted 5 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

Will we have to hear his weekly stories too?

Posts: 24442

Posted 5 years ago
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nighthowl50

Joined: 9/28/2005

Reply to: Will we have to hear his weekly stories too?
i hope so....that would be cute. father/son telling what is going on.

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1l2Hawk

Joined: 5/25/2009

Maybe "ice" is a euphemism for self-esteem...

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Posted 5 years ago
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Kajunqueen

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Maybe "ice" is a euphemism for self-esteem...
I was totally worried about you for a second,but I remebered the name of the post..loti

;)

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Posted 5 years ago
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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

Hey everyone. I know it's been a while since I posted on this thread; I've had my son, of course, but I've been thinking that, while posting my adventures here are good, they take away from the main point of this thread. This should be about how I (and others, if they wish) can break the ice with members of the opposite sex, espically in public places like a bar, the library, or the grocery (among other places).

The advice that I've gotten from a lot of people (and the proverbial slap that I've gotten from a couple of people) has helped. I can go up to women and talk to them when in the past, I was horribly afraid to even consider the thought of talking to a woman. So thank you all for your help, advice, and the occasional slap that I didn't want, but needed.

If anyone wants to post stories of how they broke the ice (men or women), please feel free to post and let everyone know how you did it. Later!!

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Posted 5 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

I think this thread just needs to die.

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Posted 5 years ago
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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

Reply to: I think this thread just needs to die.
Do you mind if I ask why? Yes, I did take this thread and turn it into a personal blog and I apologize, but I think people need to try to talk to each other in the real world. To me, it seems to be becoming a lost art. With texting, email, i-everything, it just seems like people are losing the way of speaking to each other face-to-face.

I would like this thread to live so others (men and women) can try to talk to members of the opposite sex and not be so afraid of doing that. Is that wrong to try to help, or at least have it out there so people who want to know can try to find out and use the advice found here? Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, but I want to try to help others like I was helped.

I think this thread just needs to die.

Posts: 225

Posted 5 years ago
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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

This isn't the real world. And seeing as it's the rest of us giving YOU advice, I don't really think this thread needs to continue.



We know what we're doing.

Posts: 24442

Posted 5 years ago
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parisman75

Joined: 9/3/2005

Reply to: This isn't the real world. And seeing as it's the rest of us giving YOU advice...
I never said that this place was the real world. If you check the views, this thread has over 3600+ views. Obivously someone is interested in this thread. Maybe it's because of all the drama I put out and again, I apologize for that.

What about the next man (or woman) who's new to the forum and looking for advice on how to talk to members of the opposite sex? Would it be a good idea for them to post the same question when I've already asked it? If they look on the first page of this thread they'll see a lot of good advice (at least in my opinion it's good advice). I won't argue over this; it just seems like if no one wants to post more advice/stories that's fine. It'll get buried unless the advice helps me find a g/f (whereever she may be).

Heh, it always gets my brain bubbling debating with you, DB! :)

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*Sliver!*

Joined: 4/25/2005

If they want to know, THEY can make a thread.


This has just turned into a continuous story about you. It's really not necessary. I know some like your updates.



I think they're pointless. It's like you're screaming for attention and praise.

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Posted 5 years ago
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cutiepie007

Joined: 3/25/2009

Don't worry, Paris :( Be happy :) And congrats with your achievements right now :) Carry on going like a Boeing! Your lady will come to you all in good time :)

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