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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

If you read my profile I'm a fairly unique guy with some unique interests. Not to come off as unrealistic here but I would consider myself extremely romantic and unquestionably loyal. If nothing else I make every effort to make a girl feel like she's the most special and loved human being in the world.

Still no luck. I've altered my profile at one point only having basic interests and also included most everything about me positive or negative. Right now it's in between but I don't get to deep like I use to.

Now I've chatted with some girls but more or less I find I'm usually the one more interested as I'm emailing and when I stop for awhile I don't really get anything. The majority don't really respond at all. I've made a few friends and done the cyber thing which is fun but really I want more than that now. My goal of having a special girl in my life in time for the holidays which are pretty big in my family seems to be all but squashed but for the future I'm open to any suggestions or tips.

I think I have alot to give and I don;t want to lose all hope.

Posts: 130

Posted 5 years ago
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radfox

Joined: 9/9/2007

unlike most women i try to respond back to each message i get even if just to say hi back but i don't keep in contact daily because i do have a real life to live (working taking of family etc) but every contact increases my interest and desire to continue to develop the relationship don't be afraid to talk on email just think of it as talking by typing how many times have you had a face to face and had periods of nothing to say with an email you can take your time to put everything you want to say down just keep trying

Posts: 2

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

Reply to: unlike most women i try to respond back to each message i get even if just to ...
Well actually as far as email goes I'm pretty open because of course if I do screw up or get tongue tied somehow it's not like I have to have an awkward meeting with the person. So messenger and email more or less I'm the guy I think most women would like...not speaking of looks but personality. I do lead a unique life with interesting hobbies which is really more a lifestyle. I don't know if that hurts me but I've never made it a requirement that my potential girlfriend have to like everything I like. I'm a cultured and well traveled guy so I can fit in with anyone in any situation.

Posts: 130

Posted 5 years ago
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AEUndomiel

Joined: 8/15/2008

Which one is you in the picture? I have to say that is a put off. It's like telling people first thing that you can't be by yourself. What's the first thing you want people to notice about you?

Pictures paint a "thousand words", here's what some of them say:
Alcohol in your hand: "Since all the pictures of me are with an alcoholic beverage, these are the ones where I don't look drunk....yet"

Pets included: If you're that close to your pet that you post it on a dating website, maybe you don't really need a date.

Kids included: Of course you love your kids, but it's like saying "Here are my kids, I need someone to take care of them....as you can see, I just gave them a bunch of sugar."

Shirtless Dudes: "Yeah...I work out (or I'm not flabby)..and I think you're gonna enjoy looking at my useless nipples just as much as I do."

Discreet Dude Profiles: Just don't. There's a reason why Chippendales went broke. It just doesn't work the same way in reverse.

Transportation : Everyone has to get from point A to point B in some way. How many different (or expensive) ways to you want to make it look like you are ready to hit the gas and get the hell out of reality??

Posts: 6

Posted 5 years ago
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tenx9

Joined: 2/19/2004

Geeezz!! take it easy lady. give the guy a break. Golly, your ideal guy is a 6' biker with long hair and a muscular physique. Who is a rough dude one minute but will brush your hair the next, LOL!!

Dude, don't pay attention to her. Webdating is not ideal for everyone, and its alot harder than it might seem. Your best bet is to get off this thing, hang out where you like to hang out and when something realistic (not Heidi Klum) comes by, just be yourself and hope for the best.

Posts: 5

Posted 5 years ago
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AEUndomiel

Joined: 8/15/2008

Reply to: Geeezz!! take it easy lady. give the guy a break. Golly, your ideal guy is a 6'...
....says the guy showing off a (his) mustang in his dating picture......who apparently can't read (and understand) -- neither the forum subject nor my post .....because he isn't even supposed to be giving advice in this forum.....and the advice to get *off* this site from someone who's *on* the site for the same reasons is just....bad.

Since you seem to be seeking guy advice tenx9 (which you need to seek outside this forum in the future), here's some for you:
"It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt" ~Abraham Lincoln



Posts: 6

Posted 5 years ago
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kingdave

Joined: 10/1/2005

As a man on my life trip, my idea of dating was going out to the bar or club and hitting on any girl that I found attractive. I got shot down a lot but I also met a few great girls. However, before too long, I would become bored.

Posts: 9

Posted 5 years ago
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tenx9

Joined: 2/19/2004

Reply to: ....says the guy showing off a (his) mustang in his dating picture......who app...
yeah, yeah stick and stones will break my bones.....etc. An apple a day keeps the doctor away....I got a couple too. I'm not showing off anything, that was just a decent pic of me at the time. Don't even have that car anymore.

Just a thought though, since you seem so well versed in the arts and all, what are you still doing on here? I know writing a paper for school? Hoping to start a dating service on your own?

Open mouth (a) insert foot (b)......carry on professor...

Posts: 5

Posted 5 years ago
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blackdic9

Joined: 1/23/2005

the sad thing about women is if u have watched any interview with women on tv they say i'm looking for a sweet guy someone i can trust , a man that would treat me right and looks arent a big deal, these are women who like to lie to themselves, you are a guy who is everything a woman would describe as the perfect man but they wont give u the time of day.... the truth is almost every woman wants there own brad pitt or will smith and whether he treats them right isnt that important.....but i do agree with what one guy in here said, that the internet is not the best place to meet woman u gotta go out and meet woman in ur favorite hang out and just mingle u will get much better results

Posts: 20

Posted 5 years ago
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artistbytrade

Joined: 5/24/2003

The first bit of advice I'd give you is to learn to write a profile that would attract someone to you. Loyalty is something that you look for in a dog, not a man. You make too many promises, "I'll never, I always", and that just isn't genuine. Your profile is written in the "I'd be interested in the anyone that responds" style, also not very flattering. How about setting the tone toward who you are ideally seeking. After all, a sorry excuse for a girlfriend isn't as good a one great date. Write to exclude those that don't meet your standard, set your sights high if that's the kind of woman you want. Show a bit of confidence, post good pics, and stop looking for a girlfriend. Who wants to step into a ready made relationship?

Posts: 8

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

Reply to: The first bit of advice I'd give you is to learn to write a profile that would ...
Okay replying to several of you at once here. First off the picture is of me and Tom Savini who if you don't know is a celebrity. I met him at this celebrity dinner event.....If you read my profile I'm very into the horror genre which might not be a big plus for many women but it is me and if nothing else I am honest. Even not knowing Tom Savini I'm 22 and I have that in my profile so I believe it's obvious which one I am. I probably should post a better picture my reasoning for that one is maybe....just maybe I'll run into the girl who's into my passions and see's that picture and goes OMG I love that.

Also replying to an earlier poster I'm not sure I get your point as far as the I'll respond to anyone comment......I'm someone who doesn't have one set preference so I'm honest when I say I'm open to most anyone. I'm not going to make any generalizations about you in particular but it's an absolute fact that some people (men and women) have to have someone with typical Hollywood good looks. Maybe you get lucky and find a nice handsome guy your not embarrassed to be seen with...then again maybe you go through some bad relationships and hit a point where you can't land these guys anymore and end up alone.

I have a personal friend I play cards with who's roughly 40-45 I'm guessing and her entire life she's only dated cut and good looking bad boy types who ultimately never treat her right. She's very pretty but is aging which again too me I don't care so much but you will eventually lose your appeal to those type of guys which seems to be starting to happen for her.

I'm typing this to be bitter or angry at these types of women the truth is in a way it's almost a curse to be so limited solely based on looks who you can open your heart to. Those same people also tend to cut and run the second there Hollywood ideal relationship has problems. Alot of people and again I'm not just making this a girl thing should think about who they date and pursue and if maybe you've had failures in the past what portion of that blame you carry.

I wrote the original reply in a state of frustration.....I'm not Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt so I do have to be aggressive and send out feelers and friends requests to get to know people....and I send alot to many different types of women because I am truly interested in getting to know them. Someday....likely not here on webdate I will find someone. I appreciate the discussion.

Posts: 130

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

Reply to: Okay replying to several of you at once here. First off the picture is of me an...
Ah another comment I missed...."loyalty is something you look for in a dog not a man"? Well personally I think loyalty is a quality anyone looks for/wants. I don't get that comment at all respectfully as it's essential to any loving relationship.

Posts: 130

Posted 5 years ago
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artistbytrade

Joined: 5/24/2003

LOL, well you shouldn't ask for an opinion unless you want to hear it. But you keep doing what works for you, and I'll go back to what makes me happy.

Posts: 8

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

Reply to: LOL, well you shouldn't ask for an opinion unless you want to hear it. But you...
Oh I don't fault you for your opinion at all, I just didn't get that one personally. Are you saying loyalty doesn't matter to you? I'm not trying to get into an argument at all I'm just not sure what exactly you meant to say there.

Posts: 130

Posted 5 years ago
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theguyingreen

Joined: 9/15/2008

Reply to: Oh I don't fault you for your opinion at all, I just didn't get that one person...
this is just my own opinion...but ive come to realize that women dont really care if your loyal or friendly. they want a guy that will come home drunk and beat the shit out of them cause they are looking for the "dangerous" type of guy haha.

a guy like me cant be that asshole, im a nice guy so they stay as far away from me as possible.

really i dont care about what they want anymore every time i see a good looking girl anymore i say to myself in my head "your stupid if you dont see how great i am" makes me smile and i come off as more confident.

they really dont care what your interest are unless they have the same interests and dont like talking about anything but what they are interested in.

but thats just my opinion and im no more successful than you.

Posts: 15

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

I get your frustration man I really do. I wouldn't say all women are like that but it seems many are and it's so hard to find someone genuine. I like having info in my profile rather then the generic whatever blah blah blah crap and I think loyalty is something that is important. Girls so often do go for guys though that without a doubt will be dicks and mistreat and cheat on them. And totally disregard a nice guy who would be faithful and treat them like a princess. That's one reason I'm always open to older more mature women because it seems it's a better shot they've been around and aren't naive enough to go for that crap. Girls in my age range say 18-30....it's so brutal.

Posts: 130

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fantasylife88

Joined: 11/22/2008

Reply to: Which one is you in the picture? I have to say that is a put off. It's like t...
Nice, ain't all this the truth!

I am wanting to date the girl, not the DOG!

Kids, its nice to know but get off it!

Dude, put your shirt back on!

Discreet anyone...why are you on this site!

Good Response

Posts: 8

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

Reply to: Nice, ain't all this the truth! I am wanting to date the girl, not the DOG! ...
I have gotten some interesting responses even to my inbox on this topic.......including a very encouraging one from my friend (you know who you are) if your reading this. I just get fed up with the state of humanity sometimes in this case concerning relationships...it's first and likely not the last rant I'll go on but I do appreciate the advice and conversation even if it's negative.

Posts: 130

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Kajunqueen

Joined: 11/29/2008

I think MAYBE you should change your picture,no one knows which guy you are....well,I guess your picture is better than the ones I have seen with the lady or ex cut off,or in some cases,still there...but maybe you need one of yourself ALONE...

Posts: 6567

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Kajunqueen

Joined: 11/29/2008

Reply to: Which one is you in the picture? I have to say that is a put off. It's like t...
Very good points there....THANK YOU!

Posts: 6567

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SteveNParkville

Joined: 1/7/2009

Lot of back and forth here but IMHO the reality is when you message someone here even if you get a response the odds are against anything developing. Lets be real here in some ways there is very little difference between doing this and going up to someone in a store etc and saying hi while trying to strike up a conversation. Yes there is a profile but who knows how much is true etc its a crapshoot and my suggestion would be to go out and meet people offline but use this as another venue were maybe you might meet someone. I guess what I am saying is do not think or use websites as an exclusive means of meeting someone rather use them as one more potential avenue. If finding the one were that easy it would not be quite that special now would it?

Posts: 1193

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LiveToLove

Joined: 1/12/2009

Lots of different points of view posted here. Here is mine!

Usually a "hopeless romantic" is just that; hopeless. Perhaps you could think of yourself as a "hopeful romantic". At least you will be changing your outlook on the situation. In your endeavors at being "romantic" just make sure that what you do is from your heart and not what you think she would like. If it is not from your heart a woman will know it instantly.

Above all else, be yourself. Have patience and don't give up. Sometimes we want something so badly we go forward way too fast. There are women in this world who will like you for who you are and those who won't. Hang in there.

Posts: 3550

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LiveToLove

Joined: 1/12/2009

Reply to: Which one is you in the picture? I have to say that is a put off. It's like t...
WOW! Died red hair tells me you are cold trying to be hot. Bathed two cats in one day? Tells me you also enjoy pulling one wing off of a fly to watch it suffer.

You brag about your intelligence ... a truly intelligent person doesn't need to tell others, it makes itself evident in what they have to say.

You wear tons of makeup ... what are you trying to hide?

How about this one: "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

Posts: 3550

Posted 5 years ago
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DJTheHopefulRom...

Joined: 9/8/2007

Thanks for your advice guys.....I like the hopeful romantic suggestion...I'll do that. I do agree unless your right in a big city or town it can be tough to meet someone on here. Granted I'm only a little over an hour from DC but still.....It can be awfully hard these days though with school and work to meet a girl if your not into the bar scene which i'm not.

Posts: 130

Posted 5 years ago
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stargreen

Joined: 2/23/2005

I am just replying to try to help you and don't mean to be critical. If I was reading your profile, I would go right past it, because all of your profile is centered on you. Most of your sentences start with "I" -- even the part about your "Ideal Webdate" is all about you. Try to write more about what kind of woman you are looking for, and please don't end with the line "If you want to know more about ME, just ask!" That is a definite turn off for me.


Posts: 40

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