Why am I an ass? My racism, narcissism, sociopathic tendencies, bad up bringing, how I view some as objects, my obsession with money, so on? Lol.

Although your list is not at all complete, it is a pretty sound beginning.

The real answer to your question is that, on some level, it pleases you to be as you are, for you have the ability to change anything at any time. LOL!